Page 46 of Love Wells Kept

Without missing a beat, she begins recounting our race to Beryl and Rhett, adding her fair share of embellishments. Her laughter fills the air, and though I know there’s a good chance it’s bothering Jackson, I don’t stop her or ask her to tone it down. This all feels too good to stop.

Rhett dumps beads across the table, sending them scattering across the wooden top. “I’m making a Spider-Man bracelet.”

“Okay, so you need red and blue?” I confirm because, honestly, who knows with him. He could suddenly decide he needs purple and green because he’s going for Green Goblin instead.

“Lots of red.” His chubby fingers pick out all the reds within his arm’s reach.

“That’s going to be a cool bracelet.” I give him an impressed nod. “Maybe I should make one, too.”

“Mommy, you should make a rainbow one.” With his free hand, he shoves all but the red beads in my direction.

“A rainbow missing red.” Beryl chuckles.

My sweet, gentle boy, who is so much like his dad it makes my heart ache, slides three reds across to me.

I work on my bracelet, listening to Rhett talk about Spider-Man, while keeping a close eye on Odessa in my periphery. For a kid who almost never stops talking, she’s uncharacteristically quiet and intensely focused on the pink bracelet she’s making for Jackson.

Once she’s satisfied, she fidgets with the loose ends, tying knots that keep coming loose.

“Here, Dess.” I hold a hand out. “Let me show you a trick.”

Her small hand slips the bracelet into mine, and I pinch the elastic between my fingers, looping it carefully and tying it with the same knot my mom once showed me when I was a little girl. Odessa leans in close, quietly observing and learning.

“There.” I tug the ends to prove the knot will hold. “Now it won’t come apart.”

Odessa’s whole face lights up. “Can we give it to Daddy now?”

Her excitement is contagious. I feel it too, thrumming under my ribs. But it’s woven tight with nerves. I sip my coffee, stalling, before finally nodding.

“I want to come,” Rhett says, immediately abandoning his own bracelet.

“No. Just me and Mom.”

“Stay here, bud. Finish making your bracelet with Gran,” I reassure him. “We’ll be right back.”

We leave behind the laughter and lightness of the kitchen, but I watch the bounce in Odessa’s step and the way she’s cradling the pink bracelet in her hands like it’s made of glass, and I’m determined not to let the heaviness of our circumstances fully settle over me. Not today.

Where I usually hesitate, Odessa throws open the bedroom door. Despite it being mid-afternoon, the room is nearly black, and Odessa doesn’t think twice before flicking the light switch.

Jackson’s arm flops across his face, shielding his eyes.

Odessa climbs onto the bed next to him. “Hi, Daddy.”

His voice is rough when he answers, but there’s warmth in it. “Hey.”

He lifts his arm, blinking against the harsh overhead light, and his eyes meet mine as he shuffles to a seated position.

“How are you feeling? Need anything?” I ask as I settle in next to Odessa, and my hand falls to rest on the blankets covering his legs.

“No, thanks.” He gestures to the bedside table, where the water and food I left him before we went out riding is still sitting untouched.

“Jackson, you need to eat something.”

“You’re a bully,” he says with an exasperated exhale. But he plucks a couple green grapes from the plate and pops them into his mouth. After spending an hour on the back of a horse with my girl by my side, I’m feeling more than ready to sit here and force him to eat every piece of food on that plate, if that’s what I need to do.

Odessa waits for him to finish chewing, then holds out the bracelet. “I made this for you.”

Jackson’s hand trembles slightly as he takes it, turning the string of pink beads over in his palm. Slowly, he slips it onto his wrist. The elastic stretches, then settles snug against his skin. “It’s really pretty. Thanks.”