Page 23 of Love Wells Kept

“That’s not my call to make, but I hope so.”

“Me too. I miss him.”

“I know, Dess. I know.” Half my lip draws up into a wobbly attempt at a smile. “He misses you, too.”

She wraps her arms around my neck and rests her pointy chin on top of my head. “Also…I have things to show him.”

I hug her tight. “Things? Please, that sounds menacing when it comes from you.”

“It’s not. Promise.” I can hear her smirking. It’s definitely menacing. “It’s barn cat related.”

My head tilts and I grip her little wrists to pull them off me so I can look up at her. “Odessa, what did I tell you about the barn—”

Odessa’s quick to pull away. “Oh, shoot. The school bus should be here any minute. Gotta go.”

“Wait.” I beckon her over and grab the hem of her shirt.

With a resolute sigh, her hands meet mine, assuming I’m about to strip the fabric from her body. As if I’m one to judge her for wearing her dad’s stuff, while I’m sitting here in his dirty laundry. Not to mention, I steal his jeans on a regular day, because the denim’s soft from years of wear, and men’s clothing actually has enough pocket depth to be useful.

With a twist, the cotton shirt pulls a bit snug around her hips. And once I convince her to give me a hair tie from her wrist, I have the shirt knotted and tucked against her lower back. It’s still comically large on her, but at least it’s no longer hanging around her knees.

“Love you, Dess.”

I grab either side of Odessa’s face and give her a smacking kiss in spite of the disgusted expression on her face. Then she grabs her bagged lunch, and her cowboy boots clunk across the wood planks on her way out the door.

Beryl clasps her hands on top of the table, lowering her voice. “Does he remember them?”

I tug at the collar of my shirt, sullenly shaking my head. “From what we gathered yesterday, he remembers some of the basics of who he is: his name, his dad, his brothers—though it took some convincing for him to believe Austin and Denny were who they said they were…I think he was imagining them as kids still or something. But he was pretty lethargic, so nobody pressed for much more out of him. I’m going to go back tomorrow. Hopefully by then…”

“I’ll come with you,” Cecily pipes up immediately, cutting off my worried sentence.

“The hospital is hours away, I could never—”

“We’re sisters now. It’s what I’m here for.”

“Honestly…I kind of want to go alone. Put on an audiobook and let the drive clear my head a bit.”

Her blue eyes narrow at me.

“I’m not saying that because I don’t want to be a burden, promise. I think I need to go see him by myself. Yesterday he all but ignored me, and…” My tongue skates along the ridges of my bottom teeth. “If he still doesn’t remember, I don’t want to give him the opportunity to talk to everyone else but me, like he did yesterday. It sounds bad, but I know my husband, and the only way I’m getting through to him is by cornering him.”

Beryl snickers. She knows I’m right.

“You can see him by yourself. I’ll just tag along for the road trip.” Cecily stares me down. In the few years since she showed up here, hiding from her abusive ex-husband, she’s come into her own. Found her voice.

I open my mouth, but I don’t have an argument, so I press my lips together and stipple my nails over the glass in front of me.

And I’m saved from any verbal agreement that could be held against me when the front door slams shut, and cowboy boots stride heavily down the hall. Austin. After so many years, I can tell the boys apart by the sound of their footfalls. Jackson’s have always been the quietest, taking up less space than his brothers’.

The moment he enters the space, Cecily’s the only thing he sees. Though it surely hasn’t been more than an hour since he last saw her, he goes to her before coffee. Planting a rough kiss on top of her head, then holding a hand to her pregnant stomach as he whispers something in her ear.

Under the table, my hand instinctively cradles my stomach and the baby nobody but me knows about. I could tell people now. The secret doesn’t need to be kept. Not when the man who asked me to keep it a secret has forgotten.

But if I don’t, then it’s almost like none of it is real. I can spare myself imagining what life is going to be like to have a baby with a man who doesn’t remember me.

I part my lips and force them closed, because an emotionally bankrupt part of me wants this to be unreal. I hate myself for it.

Cecily smiles at Austin, then redirects her sunshine-bright grin at me. “I’m going to the hospital with Kate tomorrow.”