Page 5 of Just What She Needed

“You give me a break,” Elaine snapped back. “Everyone knew the only reason she got that was because she was dating Todd.”

Rhett’s eyebrows shot up under her new, fashionable bangs. So much for facing facts about glory days being over. That kind of catty high school drama didn’t exactly go well with the circumspect middle-age behavior Elaine had just espoused. Rhett pushed her coffee cup aside and waited for an opening to excuse herself. It made her uncomfortable enough to be present while her friends argued, but the fact that they were arguing about her sent things right into mortification territory.

“Just killed you when Rhett landed Todd, didn’t it?” Jack’s upper lip lifted in a sneer. “I’ll bet she doesn’t know how hard you tried to break them up before you found out she was pregnant with Lilith. And I’ll also bet she doesn’t know you were sleeping with him for two years before he died.”

At first, Rhett thought she’d not heard him right. Then she thought he must be making up some cruel joke. But when all the color drained from Elaine’s face, it was a clear indicator that Jack spoke the truth. Rhett's mind went blank as it struggled to process this new information, and all she could do was sit there like a lump and watch Elaine’s bloodless lips try to form words that had no sound.

Jack answered the questions his wife couldn’t seem to voice. “Oh, yeah, I knew. I’ve known since that day you went with Kelly and the grandkids to Six Flags and left your cell phone at home. The damn thing kept beeping, so I went to turn it off. That’s when I saw it was Todd texting you. And that didn’t make any sense. I thought he must have tried to text me but hit the wrong number on accident. So I read ‘em. All of them. You should’ve deleted all those old ones. Should’ve deleted your emails, too.”

“You read my emails?” Elaine gasped, like that was worse than her sleeping with her best friend’s husband.

“Damn tootin’ I did. Printed them, too, along with the screen shots I took of those text messages.” Jack sighed and sagged a little. “I was going to throw them in Todd’s face before I kicked his ass, but he died before I could bring it up.”

When he looked back at her, Rhett steeled herself. She didn’t want to hear any more revelations just then, not when she hadn’t had time to wrap her mind around his first shocking statement.

“Rhett, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. But Todd was dead, and it just didn’t seem to matter anymore. I wouldn’t have said anything now, except I heard her running you down again and I’d just had enough of it.”

Rhett swallowed and rose in slow motion from her chair. “You could’ve stopped her without bringing that up. You’re right, Todd is dead, and it didn’t matter. I could’ve gone the rest of my life without knowing that, but you just had to blurt it out. It can’t hurt Todd anymore, but it does hurt me.”

On stiff legs, she walked across the kitchen where she and Todd had spent so much time, playing cards with their friends, sharing meals, or just talking over coffee. Now that once cheery and welcoming room was a house of horrors, gray and cold and frightening. With trembling hands she gathered up her purse and keys from the tile counter. Though she felt the coolness of the keys against her fingers and the strap of the purse across her arm, those sensations were distant and removed, as though she were experiencing them in a dream. No, a nightmare, and she couldn’t wake up.

She turned again to face the two people she thought were her friends and straightened to her full five-foot-eleven inches. “Congratulations to the both of you. You’ve gotten your revenge on your cheating wife, Jack, and managed to destroy my memories of Todd at the same time. I hope it feels just great. And Elaine? I hope you got off screwing my husband behind my back, but just in case you didn’t, here’s one for the road: Fuck you, bitch.”

She had no memory of driving home. She had no memory of walking through the house. And she didn’t remember going into the bathroom that adjoined her bedroom. Awareness of where she was only came when she found herself staring into her own shell-shocked eyes in the mirror.

If she thought she looked bad before, now she was a freak show. Somehow large dark circles had appeared under her eyes in the short time it took her to drive from Jack and Elaine’s to her own house. It turned her into a caricature of one of those cheap paintings sold at carnivals of waifs with huge, sad eyes. Instead of sad, though, her expression was more like haunted.

It all made sense now. Todd hadn’t made love to her for three years before he died, and she had feared he was dealing with some medical condition. And God forbid a good ol’ Texas boy admit to needing a blue pill to get it up. If she had even suggested he see a doctor, he would have gone through the roof. But it appeared he was not only getting it up but also getting it on with Elaine. Had there been someone else in the year before he took up with that back-stabbing hussy? Probably. If there was, though, Rhett didn’t want to know.

For the first time she was glad there had been no physical intimacy between them for those three years. A shudder passed through her at the thought of Todd throwing it to another woman and then coming home to do the same to her.

Todd. With another woman.

The fire of betrayal kindled in her belly and spread its heat until she burned with rage. How dare he take his action somewhere else? How dare he?

Like every other marriage, theirs had its ups and downs, especially in the early years when they were two disillusioned teenagers raising a baby. They worked through the difficulties, the differences in personality, the disapproval of both their families, and the financial hardships. Their life hadn’t been easy, but it had been good.

But apparently it hadn’t been good enough for Todd. Rhett had to admit that the physical side of things had only been okay. Fireworks and euphemistic waves crashing on shore weren’t part of their repertoire. There were times when she was tempted to try things she heard or read about. But in the end, she was too shy to initiate anything, and she was afraid Todd would be insulted if he knew that his wife was often left wanting in the sex department. And if Todd had ideas about how to spice things up in the bedroom, well...

He’d taken them to other bedrooms.

A low growl escaped Rhett’s lips, and the urge to destroy roared through her. She would have swept the Formica counter clean with her arm, but the jars and bottles of lotions and makeup that usually resided there were still packed and in the trunk of her car.

She marched out of the bathroom and vented her rage on the sagging bed she'd shared with Todd. Instead of making her feel better, her anger rose higher with each piece of bedding she tore loose and flung on the floor. Even stomping on what used to be Todd’s pillow didn’t extinguish her fury, or her hurt. When the bed was stripped, she stood among the mangled sheets and blankets, panting.

No way in hell could she ever sleep in that bed again. Just the thought of touching something on which Todd’s sculpted body had rested made her stomach roil. She kicked her way free of the sheets, and made a circuit of the whole house, rejecting almost every object she saw. Since they never had the money to buy new things, all the contents of their home had been there forever and were indelibly stamped with Todd’s presence. Even the needed-to-be-replaced carpet she stood on had borne the brunt of his filthy work shoes.

One of the proudest days of Rhett’s life was the day they bought the house. It wasn’t much, just a three-bedroom, two bath ranch that bore a striking resemblance to all the houses in the neighborhood, and there had been months they struggled to meet the mortgage payment. But it had been theirs. Now it had to go.

No matter how long she lived, Rhett would never be able to forget what Todd did. Every memory of her husband would now be tinged with the information Jack just had to impart, no matter how much it hurt her. Since Todd wasn’t around to vent her anger on, the only way she’d be able to move past it was to put it behind her as best she could. That could never happen where his presence still lingered with such strength.

That fresh start she’d been looking for just moved up to the top of her list.

4

I can't tell you what I had for breakfast, but I can sing every word of rock 'n roll.—Patty Duke

Cardboard boxes of every age and condition crowded the living room. Few of them were labeled, and the ones that were bore cryptic words like “Keep” or “Things, Lilith.” It was anyone’s guess as to what the boxes might actually contain. At least the attic was now empty. Faced with the monumental job of clearing out the house, Rhett decided to start at the top and work her way down.