Page 90 of How to Lose a Lord in Ten Days

‘Oh, I see,’ Ashford said, with dawning comprehension. ‘Shrew.’

Lydia glared.

‘Ashford!’ Lady Phoebe said. ‘Why on earth …’

‘The way she was pointing,’ Ashford said, all faux-innocence. ‘Shrew?’ Malignant shrew?’

‘I am not!’

‘The actors oughtn’t speak,’ Sir Waldo reprimanded from behind her. ‘Carry on trying!’

Lydia gestured again to herself, even more pointedly than before.

‘Witch?’ Ashford wondered instead.

Lydia encompassed Miss Hesse in her gesturing.

‘Witches?’

‘Excuse me?’ Lady Hesse said sharply.

‘It is just a game, my lady,’ Lady Phoebe said soothingly.

‘Nonetheless, Lord Ashford is risking incivility,’ Lady Hesse said.

Ashford did not seem to be attending.

‘Bufflehead!’ he said, with a decisive snap of his fingers, and suddenly Lydia was biting back laughter.

‘I think your time is up!’ Lady Phoebe said shrilly.

The second group had better luck. Re-entering the room full of decisiveness, they collected several cushions and placed them in a line.

‘Props are surely not permitted?’ Sir Waldo muttered.

‘It is just a game, Waldo,’ Lady Phoebe reminded him.

Lord Hesse handed his mother over the row of cushions, followed by Dacre, who handed across Lady Phoebe.

‘A bridge?’

Lydia bit her tongue as Ashford joined them. However tempting it might be to return his insults, she would not demean herself by stooping to his level …

‘Bracket-face!’ The word burst out of her before she could stop them. Several people turned to stare at her, utterly scandalized, while behind them Ashford was fighting back a grin.

‘His expression,’ Lydia explained.

‘You are cold,’ Ashford advised.

‘Maggoty?’

‘Am I?’ Ashford asked, rather injured, and it was so ridiculous that Lydia could not help but laugh, this time, though she was still being regarded with alarm from all sides.

‘Simple words and concepts,’ Lady Phoebe trilled. ‘Think “rice”, “flour” and such.’

‘Don’t give it away, Phoebe,’ Sir Waldo said crossly.

The game swiftly descended into chaos after that, though Lydia and Ashford were not the only culprits. Admittedly, their insults became increasingly creative whenever the other appeared on ‘stage’, though by the time Lydia was accusing Ashford of being a ‘muckworm’ he appeared to be more amused than offended by it. Meanwhile, however, Sir Waldo’s competitive spirit was sliding into boorishness, as he turned his criticisms onto the performers, guessers and even Reeves.