Page 75 of How to Lose a Lord in Ten Days

The ivy began to shake in earnest.

‘Ashford?’ she said, alarmed. ‘Ashford, it’s shaking dreadfully.’

But when Ashford extracted himself from where he had pressed himself within the blooms, she could see he was laughing as he began to descend again.

‘This is ridiculous,’ he said. ‘We are ridiculous.’

‘Speak for yourself,’ she said, laughing herself now – she had not heard Ashford laugh before, she realized, and it was surprisingly infectious. ‘You’re the one with wisteria in your hair.’

He was almost to the ground when a branch finally snapped under his foot, and he went crashing down. Fortunately, he was only two feet aloft by this stage – and even more fortunately, he landed on the grass, flat upon his back.

‘Are you all right?’ she called down, half whispering even now.

He began patting himself down.

‘Arms, yes,’ he said. ‘Legs, yes. Dignity – no.’

She snorted and turned back to seize his coat, remembering, only at the very last moment, to tuck the snuffbox back within it – she had almost forgotten about her initial purpose entirely. Folding the coat into a more throwable size, she leant back out the window.

‘Catch!’

He did not catch. The coat landed in a tangle upon his head.

‘Ten guineas!’ came the muffled protest, before he rose with a groan. Shaking the coat out, he raised his head to look up at her consideringly.

‘This seems the right moment to ask you to let down your hair, or some such,’ he said.

‘Did you knock your head?’ she asked. ‘You must go before anyone sees you, you dolt.’

‘Gosh,’ he said. ‘I should think you might be a little more polite, given you are still trapped.’

‘I’ll climb down, too!’ she threatened. ‘Probably ten times faster as well.’

He grinned. ‘We’ll come to fetch you,’ he promised, before disappearing back inside.

True to his word, it was not above five minutes before there was a great deal of commotion outside the door. She could hear many voices – Ashford and Lady Phoebe, but also Reeves, Dacre and Prett.

‘Miss Hanworth?’ Lady Phoebe called. ‘Can you hear us, Miss Hanworth?’

‘She is locked in, not turned deaf,’ Ashford said, his voice irritated. ‘Miss Hanworth, a great many people – not all of them necessary – have come to your aid, never fear.’

There was the rattling of the doorknob.

‘Would you believe, Captain, I did try the door,’ Ashford muttered.

‘I believe, gentlemen,’ came the calm voice of Reeves, ‘that we might benefit from some assistance – I shall return presently.’

‘By that time,’ Prett said. ‘She might well have fainted.’

‘There is no need for dramatics,’ came Ashford’s voice. ‘She is quite well.’

‘You cannot be certain of that,’ Prett said. ‘Fortunately, a similar event occurred to a lady when I was on a boat, sailing for Sardinia, and—’

‘An essential detail, is it?’ Ashford said.

‘Dacre, will you assist me?’

‘What would you have me—’ Dacre began. ‘Oh, is that not a little dramatic, sir?’