Page 52 of How to Lose a Lord in Ten Days

‘Did you catch a chill from the water?’ Dacre suggested.

‘I did not.’ Ashford had balled his hands up into fists so tightly his knuckles had turned white. Just a little prod further and he would lose all control …

‘An infection?’ Lady Phoebe suggested.

‘Could it be,’ Lydia said, ‘from that fish which bit you.’

Miss Hesse let out a shocked gasp.

‘What are you talking about?’ Ashford’s jaw dropped. ‘This is utter nonsense.’

‘When you fell in the lake,’ Lydia said. ‘You remember?’

She windmilled her arms again. Ashford glared at her with real hatred.

‘You did not say anything about a bite,’ Mr Brandon said. ‘One really has to be careful with bites, you know, Ashford.’

‘Nothing bit me!’

‘What did it look like, Miss Hanworth?’

‘Purple, with yellow spots,’ Lydia said.

She had not realized before today what a gifted improviser she was – truly, she ought to have had a career on the stage.

‘Foreign,’ Lady Hesse breathed in horror, fluttering her fan wildly. ‘We ought to call for a doctor.’

‘No!’ Ashford insisted.

‘A friend of mine was bitten by a snake, once,’ Mr Brandon said. ‘In France. Just came out of the grass – slam!’

He mimed a biting serpent.

‘Then what happened?’ Miss Hesse whispered.

‘He had to miss the races,’ Brandon said, heaving a grieved sigh. ‘Poor chap was devastated – a cautionary tale if ever I’ve heard one, Ashford.’

‘Is it?’ Ashford said. ‘Given it’s the wrong animal and the wrong country and nothing ever bit me in the first place?’

‘Would a doctor even be able to prescribe an antidote?’ Lady Hesse wondered.

‘If we can draw a picture of the fish, perhaps?’ Brandon said.

‘I can draw a picture,’ Lydia offered. ‘Pip, may I borrow your notebook?’

‘There was no fish!’ Ashford said explosively, rising to his feet and stepping away from the table. ‘I have not been bitten. I feel perfectly well.’

They all leant minutely back.

‘Right you are,’ Sir Waldo said soothingly. ‘Right you are.’

‘Aggressive temper,’ Pip intoned, writing in his notebook.

‘I shall take a turn of the gardens,’ Ashford said. He dug in his pocket for his snuffbox and took a pinch to each nostril.

‘Very calming,’ Lady Hesse approved.

‘Miss Hanworth,’ Ashford bit out, ‘would you care to accompany me?’