Page 124 of How to Lose a Lord in Ten Days

She had never heard him speak in such a way, with such rawness in his voice.

‘And now Phoebe is leaving too,’ he said, looking away and down.

‘I am sorry,’ Lydia said. ‘I am so sorry.’

She stepped closer to him, tilting her head to try and catch his eye.

‘I do not know everything that happened with your mother,’ she said quietly. ‘I cannot pretend to, but with Phoebe … I do not think she has a choice.’

‘There is always a choice.’ Ashford’s mouth was set and resolute. ‘We all choose and I am here, choosing duty again and again while they consider themselves exempt, somehow, while they take the easier, pleasant route of choosing oneself!’

‘I hardly think,’ Lydia tried to be gentle in her reproof, ‘that Lady Phoebe’s route can be considered easy.’

Ashford deflated.

‘No, I know.’ His voice was suddenly tired. ‘Waldo has pushed her to it – but it is complicated.’

‘It isn’t.’ Lydia shook her head emphatically. ‘Truly, it is simple. She is your family. You must help her.’

‘This cannot be the only way to do so,’ he said hoarsely, almost pleading. ‘I do not know what the correct action is, but it cannot be this. Leaving us – leaving me – it’s wrong!’

Lydia wished, suddenly, that they were not wearing masks, for she wanted more than anything in that moment to be able to see his face. For him to see hers.

‘Sometimes the wrong thing,’ Lydia said, hoping he could read the sincerity in her eyes, ‘is the right thing.’

He stared at her through the slits of his mask.

‘On occasion,’ he said, ‘you can be very profound.’

She smiled more in relief than in amusement. ‘I astound even myself.’

He chuffed out a laugh.

‘I cannot believe I am having such conversations with you, of all people,’ he said, shaking his head a little. ‘You must be very shocked at all this – you are not exactly seeing me at my best.’

‘I have already seen the worst of you,’ she said. ‘And it does not scare me.’

He looked away and down.

‘I will speak to Phoebe tomorrow,’ he said to his shoes. ‘I am not … proud of how I reacted.’

‘Perhaps you might speak to her tonight,’ Lydia said.

‘I hardly think she would thank me for that,’ Ashford said. ‘Tomorrow would be more proper.’

‘Or tonight,’ Lydia suggested again.

Ashford paused.

‘What are you …’ he began. ‘Why? She is not leaving this evening?’

Lydia bit her lip. She and Lady Phoebe had agreed not to say anything, to anyone – but she could not bear the idea of the cousins leaving each other on such terms as they had today.

‘Please … do not try to stop her,’ she said, placing a hand on his sleeve. This time, he did not try to shake her off. ‘It is her only real chance.’

‘In front of all these witnesses?’ he said. ‘It is the height of foolishness.’

‘It is perfect,’ she corrected. ‘Sir Waldo is already half drunk, can be easily distracted. By the time anyone notices her absence, she will be halfway to Dover.’