Page 67 of A Lady's Guide to Scandal

Kitty held her emotions in all the way through the ball, through dancing a quadrille, three country dances and a cotillion; through two glasses of champagne; through the carriage ride home; through getting into bed. It was only when Cecily had begun softly snoring beside her that she let the sob that had been lodged in her throat for several hours spill quietly out into the night, like a secret.

It was so unfair, so very unfair. What an awful man. What a prejudiced, privileged, awful man. She hated him – she wished never to set eyes upon him or another de Lacy in her life.

She tossed and turned through the night, unable to cool her temper enough to sleep, but by morning, the dawn had brought her a little calm. She rose before Cecily, and busied herself about their room, opening the trunk that had lain unused underneath the window since their arrival, and folding some of their belongings inside it. There was a groan and rustle behind her as Cecily began to wake.

‘What are you doing?’ she said blearily, as Kitty packed up her least favourite evening dress – there would surely be no need for it after tonight.

‘Just a little packing,’ she murmured absently. ‘I hate leaving things to the last minute.’

‘Packing?’ Cecily sat up straight. ‘Where are we going?’

‘Home, of course,’ Kitty said. ‘After tonight, it should not be more than a week or so before we can leave. It is my intention to persuade Mr Pemberton to wed quickly – it should not be so hard, he has so little family, and will likely think it romantic. We can honeymoon in Biddington.’

‘Next week?’ Cecily repeated faintly.

‘I’m shocked this should surprise you, Cecily,’ Kitty said, exasperated. ‘Surely you knew this. I do keep telling you to pay more attention when other people are speaking – then you would not be so surprised all the time.’

Cecy looked distressed. ‘I did not know,’ she said. ‘I wish you would have told me sooner. Can we not stay longer?’

‘Why should you want to stay? I thought you hated London – you have certainly spent enough time complaining about it.’

There was silence behind her for a few beats, and then all at once: ‘I am in love!’ Cecily said, so loudly that Kitty jumped half out of her skin.

‘Gracious, Cecy, no need to shout – what do you mean, you’re in love? You can’t be.’

‘I am!’ Cecy insisted. ‘With Lord Montagu – and he is in love with me, too.’

Kitty put a hand to her forehead.

‘Oh Lord,’ she groaned. ‘Cecy – I’m sorry – but we don’t have time for this.’

‘No time – Kitty, I have told you I am in love!’

‘And I heard you.’ Kitty tried desperately to hold onto her patience. ‘But the fact of the matter is, we simply cannot afford to remain any longer – we have quite run out of money.’

‘There are some things more important than money!’ Cecy said passionately. ‘Look at Mama and Papa.’

‘And where did that leave us?’ Kitty demanded. ‘Papa chose love over money, and it had consequences, Cecy! It left me— it left us, in a very difficult position.’

‘But—’ Cecily tried to interject, but Kitty overruled her with a flash of temper.

‘We don’t get to have who we want, Cecy! How can I get you to understand that?’ she burst out. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. ‘I know it is hard, but we really have got to think of the bigger picture. You must listen to me on this.’

‘You never listen!’ Cecy shrieked at Kitty. ‘You say I don’t listen, but you never listen to me, and I’m sick of it. You’re always overlooking me and dismissing me, and you never listen. But Rupert does. He listens, and he’s interested in what I have to say, and – and he values my opinion. You don’t! You don’t care what I think.’

Kitty was utterly thrown. This was the longest Cecily had spoken, without mentioning Wordsworth, for several years. ‘Well … what do you think?’ Kitty asked.

Cecy gaped at her for a second. ‘That’s not the point!’ she wailed. ‘I can’t think of anything right now.’

‘In which case,’ Kitty snapped, her temper flaring again, ‘I don’t have time for these tantrums. Grow up, Cecy – if you don’t want to help, the least you could do is to let me get on with saving our family from financial ruin rather than throwing a spanner into things at the eleventh hour.’

Cecy stormed from the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

The sisters did not speak until much later that evening. Cecily left the house soon after breakfast for a walk with Lady Amelia; she told Aunt Dorothy, though Kitty was in the room at the time. Aunt Dorothy, who was about to leave London for the weekend, to visit a friend of hers in Kent, clucked at her nieces’ antics.

‘You ought to mend those fences sooner rather than later,’ she instructed Kitty once Cecily had left. ‘And you certainly mustn’t be cross with each other in front of Mrs Sinclair tonight.’

In Aunt Dorothy’s absence, Mrs Sinclair was to act as their chaperone.