Page 101 of Run Home

When I sigh with utter contentment, Adrián breaks away. His eyes hold mine as he whispers, “Mi cielo en la tierra.”

It was too late to change my schedule for traveling to one of Adrián’s away series this time around, but five days apart and counting has me convinced it’s what I’ll do next time. I don’t mind working some extra late evenings or weekends if it means I can shorten the duration of time we’re away from each other.

Sweeping hair into a pile while my client swipes her credit card on my phone payment system, I thank my past self for scheduling a lunch break today. I need a minute to sit down and fuel up with some real food. My client thanks me again, and I clean up the space so it’s ready to go when I come back in an hour and a half.

My phone rings as I’m walking to a Mediterranean restaurant a few doors down, and I’m surprised to see Central Middle School as the contact name.

“Hello?” I answer, slowing my pace.

“Hello, is this Samantha West?”

“Yes, it is,” I reply.

“This is Ms. Clark, one of the school counselors at Central Middle School. I’ve got Jason in the office with me, and he requested I give you a call,” she says.

I halt. “Is everything okay?”

“Things are all right, but Jason’s having a little bit of a hard time this morning. A teacher encouraged him to come to my office, but he’s not saying much,” she explains. “I asked about calling his parents, but he said he’d like to talk with you. Do you have a few minutes to chat with him?”

“Yes,” I say, turning around and jogging to my car. “I can be there at the school in about ten minutes instead of talking on the phone. Can he hang out until then?”

“Sure, that will be fine,” Ms. Clark says. “I’ll tell the front office staff to send you my way.”

“I’ll be right there,” I say, getting into my car.

Nine minutes later, I pull into the school parking lot. The front office staff scan my ID to give me a visitor badge, and one leads me through the office to the counselor’s room. Ms. Clark is waiting outside the door, extending her hand to shake mine.

“Nice to meet you, Samantha,” she says. “Because you’re one of Jason’s approved emergency contacts, I felt okay honoring his request to call you. However, I do need to call his mom as well. I’m going to do that while you’re talking with him.”

“Absolutely. Sounds good,” I agree, and she opens the door for me.

Jason is sitting in a chair, looking a lot more like the nine-year-old boy I first met than the eleven-year-old preteen of late. He looks up when I come in, and I recognize the conflict in his eyes. Emotions warring in his thoughts, even though I don’t know the exact feelings yet.

“Hey, my guy,” I say quietly as I take the other chair next to him. “What’s going on?”

“Ms. Clark wanted to call my parents, but I didn’t want them to feel bad. I knew you would understand, though, and not get upset with me,” Jason says.

I reach over to squeeze his shoulder. “I’m always here to listen to you. And I’m not going to get upset. What’s up?”

Jason looks down. “I almost hit a kid this morning—but I didn’t! But I wanted to.”

“What did he say?” I ask, knowing something deeper prompted the frustration.

“A couple of us were talking about the Crowns game from last weekend because there were a few other kids who were there. And then this other guy talked about how they all have to sit in the cheap seats while I sit behind home plate because I’m a spoiled brat with rich, famous new parents,” Jason explains. My heart sinks with understanding.

“It made me so mad,” Jason starts, clenching his hands into fists. “It made me mad because it’s not like I asked to get adopted by Griffin.” He looks up at me with wide eyes and open hands. “Not that I’m mad that I did. I’m glad I have Griffin as my new dad and Danae as my mom.”

I take one of his hands and squeeze it. “I know, Jason. I know you love them. But I also know what you mean.” He breathes a sigh of relief, and I prod, “Were you only mad? Or were you also a little bit sad?”

He rolls his lips between his teeth, the movement accentuating the freckles scattered across his cheeks. I love this kid so much. When he finally speaks again, his voice is choked. “It did make me sad. Because that guy doesn’t even know everything else about my life. Everything before Mom and Dad. And I felt sad that I even had to be adopted, couldn’t just be with my first parents like every other kid. But I do have parents who love me, and I do get to do cool stuff like sit behind home plate and go on trips to New York and all that stuff other kids don’t get to do. So I feel bad about being sad. Because I shouldn’t feel sad, right?”

“No,” I state, shaking my head. “Not right. You can love Danae and Griffin while still feeling sad about the life you missed out on with your first parents.”

Jason’s face is conflicted, so I continue, “I’m going to tell you something my mom and my therapist say that helps me. Do you know what it means to grieve?”

His face screws up in thought. “It’s like when people are super sad at a funeral, right?”

“Yeah, that’s definitely a time people grieve. Basically, grieving is like really, really deep sadness over something not being the way it should be. The kind of sad that feels dark and heavy inside you,” I explain. “For people like you and me, we can be very happy in the new lives we have with our new families. But we can also still grieve the life we originally should have had. The life where our first families loved us well and took care of us and met all of our needs so that we never had to find a new family. That’s the way it should have been for me, and the way it should have been for you. You should feel sad that you didn’t get that, Jason. We can grieve the lives we should have had even while we’re grateful for the lives we do have.”