Page 43 of All That Glitters

He grins. “I prefer optimistic. Now, tell me what happened with your future wife.”

I shoot him a flat look. His grin doesn’t waver, so I sigh and decide the situation can’t get any worse if I talk about it.

“We went to dinner together to go over the article. Everything was going great—more than great, even. She was laughing and we were reminiscing. Then, out of nowhere, she ran out of the restaurant. It’s like she realized we were having fun and couldn’t allow it. We argued in the parking lot, but got nowhere.”

I throw my hands up.

“I don’t know what to do. She won’t let me apologize, won’t let me get too close to her. She misses me, I know she does. I can see it in her eyes.” My throat tightens. “But she keeps pulling away.”

“You still haven’t told me what happened between you two. All I know is you’re in love, but you did something to mess things up,” Nash says.

“I’ll tell you, but don’t ask me for a bunch of details, or else I’m shutting this conversation down.” I give him a pointed look.

He nods. “Go for it.”

After another deep breath, I do. I tell him about falling for Goldie, about kissing her that night under the stars, and her distancing herself. Then I tell him about the situation around the internship, and how much I regret it but can’t change what happened.

“I just wish she would hear me out and let me apologize."

“Let you?” Nash questions with a shake of his head. “Don’t be—what was Paisley’s word again? oh—obtuse. You two were best friends for years. Get her alone and start talking. Don’t let her stop you. If she runs, follow her. Don’t lose her out of fear.”

“I’m not afraid,” I say, and Nash looks like he doesn’t believe me. “I just don’t want to hurt her anymore than I already have.”

“That sounds like fear talking.”

Realization washes over me at his words. He’s right. I’ve been upset with Marigold for letting fear keep her from reconciling, when I’ve been doing the same thing. If we keep things how they are now, I’ll still get to see her and talk to her. We even have good moments like today. But if I push … we either end up somewhere amazing or terrible. There’s no in between. And that terrifies me.

“I don’t want to lose her,” I confess.

“From the sound of things, you already are. Every day you don’t say something, she takes another step away. Soon, there will be miles between you. It’s a lot easier to cross a pond of hurt than an ocean of resentment.”

“I get what you’re saying, but it already feels like there’s an ocean, or at least a lake, between us. And I’m in a rowboat with no paddle.”

Nash shrugs. “Then you better get out and swim. You can complain about the distance, or you can do something to close it. Your choice.”

I stay quiet for a moment, processing his words. He stands up and sets his controller on the TV stand.

“I’m going to read the dictionary until I fall asleep. Probably won’t take long, considering how boring it is,” he says as he stretches his arms above his head.

“Pedantic,” I tell him as he starts to head to his room. “Next time you see Paisley, call her pedantic. She’ll hate it.”

He chuckles. “Thanks.”

“Thank you,” I say. “I needed to hear what you said.”

He throws a smile over his shoulder.

“You can thank me by making me best man at your wedding.”

I let out a quiet laugh. “Sure.”

It’s an easy deal to make, since I don’t see it coming true. Even if I somehow manage to get Marigold to forgive me, I can’t see her wanting anything more than friendship. Not after the way she acted the night we kissed.

I need to pace myself better. Have more patience. Nash’s words made me see I can’t get so discouraged that I give up. And yeah, maybe he’s right about me being afraid of pushing too much, but he doesn’t understand what’s at stake. I need to take things a step at a time and show Marigold she can trust me again. Then maybe she’ll hear me out and we can become friends again.

After that … well, I can’t let myself think that far ahead. That will ensure that I end up drowning in regret just like Icarus.

Chapter twenty-one