Page 57 of Vandal Unbound

“Guys have gotten beaten up before and not had a fucking existential crisis.”

Daisy sighs as she shakes her head. “Yes. But was it this personal? Was it this terrifying? Was it this extensive? Did it leave them with life-changing injuries? You can’t compare how you’re dealing with this to anyone else’s story. And PTSD hits people differently.”

“I want this,” I admit. “You and me. I want to see just how good it could be. But, if I’m honest, I’m not ready for you right now. Not in a place where I could be good for Elsie either. But I want you to give me some time to try to be. I want a few weeks to clean this shit up so I’m at least in a workable place to manage life.”

Daisy looks at me with pride, not like I’m broken. “I’m not going anywhere.”

When Alvarez hit me with that bat the third time, I thought my life was over. I tried to make my peace with not getting old, with the fact I hadn’t written a will, and that there would be no lasting impact of me ever being alive. There’d be no legacy. No grandchildren. My mom’s family line would end with her. I figured people might miss me, but eventually my name would be spoken for a final time.

Some people have life-changing moments and live the rest of their life with renewed optimism at the gift of bonus years they’d been given.

But I haven’t. I’ve been stuck on the moment that my time was up. So, to still be alive hasn’t been everything people talk about.

And for the last month, I haven’t had a fucking clue what to do while I’m still here.

Until this moment.

Because if I hadn’t stuck around, I wouldn’t have this moment to add to the list of memories I’ll take with me when I finally go.

There’s a flicker of recognition of the me I used to be when I run my hands over Daisy’s waist and pull her close. I take in just how spectacular her tits look in this tank top. High, round, great fucking cleavage I want to run my tongue along and fuck my dick through.

I always loved sex for relaxation, and my cock is already hard and aching and ready to dip into just about any orifice she’ll consent to.

But something beyond sex scratches at the exterior of my heart, trying to find a way in. Because Daisy eases me. Around her, the violence in my head subsides because she’s more powerful than drugs and alcohol at stopping the worst thoughts.

Some might say that’s a problem. Switching one addiction for another. But if that’s what this is with Daisy, then I’m never gonna give it up.

“This okay?” I ask, gripping the soft tank top in my hands, using it as leverage to bring her lips to mine.

Daisy’s hands slide around the back of my neck. “Yes, Vandal.”

In movies, it sometimes takes an age for lips to meet, and I used to get mad, like,Hurry the fuck up. Nobody takes that long to actually make out.

But as the tension builds and hums between us, I take my own sweet time, because I’m only gonna get to sleep with Daisy for the first time once.

Everything else since the attack by Alvarez has gone at full speed. The surgeries. The physical therapy.

But I’m not rushing this.

I spread one palm on her back, sliding up and down her spine slowly. Feeling every bump, every muscle.

And Daisy twines my hair around her fingers.

Her eyes are open, pupils wide. I’m sure mine are worse. But I have a fleeting feeling of gratitude for everyone who has gotten me to this place where I can enjoy this moment with Daisy. And even if I’m not stone-cold sober, I’m sober enough that I know exactly what I’m doing and am alive enough to feel and remember every single minute of it.

When I kiss her, it feels like the first time. Because this time, I can let something grow between us, knowing I can be more like the kind of man she deserves.

My lips brush over hers, whisper soft at first, before the kiss catches fire.

I cup the side of her neck, my thumb brushing her cheek as a soft whimper slips from Daisy’s mouth. My tongue licks against hers, the sweet taste of her passing between the two of us.

Her hand comes up and grips my bicep, and I can’t resist sliding my hands beneath her ass and lifting her until she settles over my hardening cock. Her legs wrap around my waist, hooking her to me as I move one arm to hold her around her waist. Daisy wraps both arms around my neck, and I shift the two of us to lie her down on the bedding.

But unlike the old me, where the fun was getting off, the fun now is simply being here with Daisy.

I’ve somehow transcended the nervous hum that threads through me most of the time. Instead, it’s all words I’d never associate with myself.

Soft. Tender. Deliberate.