Page 22 of A New World for the Irish Daughter

The pawnbroker pushed the cameo brooch across the scarred wooden counter as he gave Maggie a level look. She could tell he wasn’t going to offer her a penny more, and sheneededmore—a lot more—if she was going to have a place to stay for the next three weeks. Yesterday, after Miss Jessie had given her ultimatum, Maggie had shakily promised to be out of the parlor house this evening if she couldn’t find the rent money.

Selling her mother’s jewelry felt like her only choice.

She swallowed hard as she gazed down at the delicate, swirled lines of the coral cameo her mother had worn so often at her throat. Besides that, the only piece of jewelry Maggie had of her mother’s was a garnet ring her da had given her mother as his bride when they’d first been wed. More than once over the last two years, she’d considered pawning one or both of them, when things had been particularly desperate, but she’d kept herself from it because these two items were all that she had left of her mother. Everything else had had to be abandoned in one place or another—Ireland, New York, Chicago…

She’d left behind a trail of lost memories, as well as broken dreams.

Butfinally,Maggie told herself, she had a way forward. The last thing she wanted to do was waste the unexpected opportunity Dr. Brown had offered her. But she could not apply to the nursing program if she was homeless, and it was only threeweeksuntil the start of the program. All she had to do was find enough money for the rent for those weeks, and then she could move out and her new life could begin.

Reluctantly, she withdrew her mother’s ring from her handbag. “And this?” she asked, handing it over.

The man snatched up his loupe, studying the sliver of garnet on the gold band with a practiced eye. After a long moment as Maggie held her breath in hope, he put down the loupe and looked up at her. “Fifteen dollars for the ring.”

Fifteen dollars!It was a fraction of its true worth, but beggars could not, Maggie knew, be choosers. Between the ring and the cameo, she would have enough rent to stay at Miss Jessie’s until she started the nursing program—if, God willing, she was accepted, but Dr. Brown seemed to believe that was assured. Maggie certainly hoped it was, because she had run out of other ideas a long while ago.

“Very well. I’ll give you both,” she told the man and he nodded curtly, unsentimental about both beloved objects. They disappeared into a drawer while he counted out several wrinkled bills and Maggie left the store with a heavy heart and a lighter purse, now those beloved mementoes were gone—but she had twenty-one dollars clutched in her hand.

“Maggie, what are you doing in apawnshop?”

She turned, her heart sinking as she saw Brendan striding down Market Street. He’d gone to the hardware for some nails, and it was just her luck—as well as some unfortunate timing—to have him see her coming out of that place, and no doubt draw the obvious conclusion.

“I had business there,” she replied, and his frown deepened into a scowl.

“What business?”

“If you must know, I had to sell some of my mother’s jewelry,” she confessed, knowing instinctively he would not welcome the news. “To pay the rent.”

“Therent…” He shook his head. “What do you mean? You aren’t leaving Miss Jessie?”

“Miss Jessie isaskingfor rent,” Maggie replied tartly, and she saw the surprise flash across Brendan’s face. “You didn’t know?” She realized that made her feel a little better; it seemed Brendanhadn’tagreed to work at the parlor house without any regard for her situation, after all. He simply hadn’t known what it was. And yet it was clear the madam had an affection for him, whether it was returned or not. The thought made Maggie feel another blaze of jealousy.

“No, I didn’t know.” Now he looked grim. “Why would she ask you to pay rent, and after all this time?”

“Well, she’s not a charity.” Maggie couldn’t keep from sounding brittle.

“Maggie…” Brendan took her arm, his forehead furrowed, his eyes dark with worry. “What’s going on?”

Maggie hesitated, knowing she didn’t want to go into her suspicions about why Miss Jessie had decided to ask her to pay rent. She didn’t want to explain about Evie, or Jenny, or her own jumbled thoughts about who or what was right—as well as who or what was wrong—because the truth was, she didn’t know the answers to any of it anymore. Miss Jessie had thrown her own certainties into confusion, and while she couldn’t help but resent the ultimatum she’d handed down, Maggie was able to concede that she’d had a point.

She glanced down at Brendan’s hand still on her arm, then up at the expression of concern on his face—concern of a friendor something more? And were they either—or anything—to each other now? Especially now she was planning her own separate future? “We’ve always missed each other somehow, haven’t we?” she asked quietly.

The look of bewilderment on Brendan’s face was almost laughable, except… didn’t he understand what she was trying to say? What shefelt? He’d loved her, and then she’d loved him; he’d been angry and then she’d been hurt, and then he’d been hurt and she’d become angry. They’d switched sides and emotions so many times, it was a wonder her head wasn’t spinning—and Brendan’s, too. They never seemed to feel the same thing at the same time.

“Maggie, if you needed money, you should have told me,” he said, and she gave a tired laugh.

“Brendan, that’s exactly why I didn’t.”

“I don’t under?—”

“This isn’t about pride or being beholden or anything like that,” she explained gently. “I’m not trying to prove a point or push you away or…” She sighed wearily. “It’s just, things have always been so tangled and confused between us. And we never seem to feel the way the other person wants us to feel, and at different times that means different feelings, but it’s never the right time and we never match up.” She gave him a sad smile and saw the flash of something almost like anger in his eyes. He didn’t want to hear the truth, she suspected, but that didn’t make it any less true. Maybe it made itmore.

“And complicating all that,” she continued, “with matters of money and favors and debt… well, I thought it was easier for both of us if I didn’t ask you. And,” she added, knowing she needed to tell him the whole, “I only need to find the rent money for three more weeks. After that I’ll be leaving—I hope to, at least. I’m applying to the nursing program at the Children’sHospital. Dr. Brown asked me to apply, and she’s going to write me a letter of reference. It’s an opportunity I couldn’t refuse.”

Maggie saw each emotion flash across Brendan’s face one after the other—surprise, hurt, anger, sorrow and then finally a smile.

“Maggie, that’s wonderful news,” he said. He squeezed her arm before letting his hand fall away. “I’m so pleased for you.”

Maggie found her throat had suddenly thickened so she could hardly speak. “Thank you,” she managed to get out. “And I’m pleased for you, as well, Brendan. You’ve got a good position at Miss Jessie’s now.”