Page 81 of The Reluctant Roommate

“But the workplace culture? Was it expected of you, whether it was stated or not?”

“I had to do that to get ahead.”

Heidi said nothing, but her silence spoke volumes.

“I worked the hours I did by choice.” Her voice sounded defensive in her own ears.

“I’m not questioning your choices, Morgan. I’m saying that your employer seemed not to care for the well-being of their people.” She took Morgan’s hand again and turned it over, palm up, then uncurled her fingers one by one. “You’re tense. Just talking about this has you wound up.” She stroked Morgan’s palm.

Morgan shuddered at the soft touch.

“I bet you were great at your job before this happened. I bet you were high performing, got the results, got the highest commissions.”

“I did, yes.”

“Do you want to go back to finance? Did you love your work?”

Love. What a strange term to use about work. Work was something that filled the hours between eight and six—or, if shewas honest, between seven in the morning and eight at night. She did her job. She got paid. She counted herself lucky to have such a gorgeous house in an upmarket area. But did she love her job?

“Sometimes. I like helping people manage their money. I love figuring out what’s a good investment and what’s going to perform poorly. I love ensuring people’s financial security. But I never enjoyed the cutthroat competition for clients, or how clients would switch advisors on a whim. The male-dominated workplace. Does anyone really love their job?”

“I don’t know,” Heidi said. “I don’t. Not now. But I have in the past. But I don’t let my job make me miserable or define me. I take the good times and don’t let the shit stick. And I hope that if—when—I qualify as a psychologist, I’ll love that. If I don’t, well, I guess I’ll have wasted six or more years of my life and who knows how many thousands of dollars.”

Heidi seemed so free and unfettered. Talking so casually about the commitment of study, yet not being one hundred percent sure it was what she wanted. “What will you do if it turns out it’s not for you?”

“Walk away. Find another way of earning money that’s more suited to me.”

“Is that what you do in your relationships too?” The words were out before she could bite them back. They implied an expectation, a neediness. And they weren’t at that level yet.

“Relationships?” Heidi’s smile seemed forced. “That’s too kind a word to apply to my past romantic…situations. Serena was my only relationship that went over a few months. And look what happened. I’m obviously totally shit at judging character. I fell in love with someone who robbed me blind, ghosted me, and turned out to be a total bitch. In fairness, she wasn’t that way until we got to California. I don’t want to blame a state for her change of character, though. California is lovely. Apart fromthe bears. And maybe the rattlesnakes. And I’m from a country where most people believe everything wants to kill you.”

“You’ve had no girlfriends apart from Serena?” Why was Heidi jokingnow? Her free and unfettered side now seemed immature.

“I’ve had girlfriends. Short-term, casual relationships based around fun and sex and not commitment. Hookups. But my life has been spontaneous. Live for the moment, not the long term. The opposite, I suspect, of yours.”

Is that how Heidi saw their relationship? Roommates who turned to lovers, but something casual for the moment? Morgan opened her mouth to ask, then closed it again. After her confession about her unemployment, that would make her sound desperate. A total loser.

Heidi stood and took their dirty plates to the kitchen. “Let’s sit more comfortably.” She returned and flopped on the couch, then patted the cushion next to her. “Sit with me. Please. I think we both need a hug.”

Morgan sat stiffly, her mind whirling over their conversation.

Heidi wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her back so that Morgan collapsed against her chest. “Thank you for sharing, Morgan. I hope you’re comfortable with that.”

Was she? There was a lightness in her chest at the thought of no more hiding. No more watching what she said about work. That was a good thing.

But them? Their…situation? The uncertainty about that, about what they were. The lack of definition. That was something new to her. There was no box to put Heidi in anymore. Notroommate. Notfriend.Certainly notgirlfriend. Was there somewhere they could meet between her need to be structured and organized and Heidi’s carefree and casual nature? Something in between those definitions and differingpersonalities, the nebulous middle ground where the Venn diagram intersected.

Although, wasn’t that the firmest, most certain thing of all?

Chapter 37

Who It Is

Robert was sitting at the end of the bar, nursing a warm beer and glaring at her. Heidi ignored his scowl. Obviously, she’d done something he perceived as a mistake—although she had no idea what—and he would no doubt tell her as soon as there was a quiet moment. Her shift finished soon, and Luis was again coming in to take the more lucrative evening shift, when people were drunker and the tips were better.

Still, she was meeting Lula after work. That was something to look forward to.

She went across to Robert. “Another beer? That one must be bathwater warm by now.”