Page 144 of Mercy Written in Blood

"If I hated them, I could leave."

There was nothing Renji could say that would make the confession smaller. He did not try.

Haruki looked away.

"I have never told anyone that."

"Why tell me?"

The question was not rejection. Renji hoped it did not sound like one. Haruki considered the answer.

"Because you said yes."

Renji remained still.

"You could have lied," Haruki continued. "You could have made me feel foolish. Instead, you handed me something that could destroy your life."

"You would not use it."

"How could you know?"

"I could not."

Haruki looked at him. That answer affected him more than all the others.

"You trusted me."

"Yes."

The second truth was harder than the first. Renji felt it after speaking. Not because it exposed his nature. Because it exposed his choice. Haruki had done nothing to earn certainty. Trust was not certainty. That was what made it trust.

"I thought I should give you something equal," Haruki said.

Renji glanced towards him.

"You believe disliking your position is equal to being a vampire?"

"No."

"Then—"

"But it could destroy my life."

Renji stopped. Haruki's expression had closed slightly.

"Not because the Family would remove me," he said. "They wouldn't. That would be worse."

"They would try to reassure you."

"Yes."

"Tell you sacrifice proves your fitness to lead."

"Yes."

"And then depend on you more carefully."

Haruki looked at him.