Page 61 of The Tailor's Treasure

“I did, at the last,” Isabel mumbled.At last, she sat up, rubbing her hands over her face again.“Before that, I had – alluded to it, I suppose.I did not wish to burden her with my troubles.And I made – promises, or suggestions of promises, that I ought not to have.”

Not for the first time, she thought of Constance in her house – Constance sitting alone at her kitchen table, listening for Peter in case he took a turn – going to bed alone each night, with nothing but a cat for company.Isabel, at least, had Walter to love; but Constance only had Peter and Jack, and they were both wrapped up in each other.There was no room in that for another.She had been so relieved to have Constance near, to go and sit with her and talk to her when life with Hilda and the girls had become too much.She hadn’t thought what it meant to Constance, to have a friend, or a lover.And she hadn’t thought what it would do to her to have that lover suddenly abandon her.

“It was selfish of me,” she said.“I ought not to have – but we –“ She took a deep breath, measuring her words carefully.She didn’t know how likely Matthew was to guess at the true nature of her relationship with Constance, but it was not a risk she cared to run.“We worked well together, but we also – cared for each other, a great deal.More than we ought to have, really, after a few months’ acquaintance.”She shook her head.“So, when I announced I would not be returning, she felt the loss – keenly.We had had discussions about –“ She shook her head.“We were being foolish – I was being foolish, to encourage it.But we talked of my taking up more work with her after this current job was done – even talked of Walter and I coming to live with her.Foolish, as I said.Hilda would never have allowed it.But I – I allowed myself too much, and then to suddenly retreat and leave her with nothing – if she does blame me, I cannot fault her for it.”

She chanced a look at her brother.His expression was – not what she had expected.She didn’t truly know what shehadexpected, but it wasn’t this contemplative look.It made her slightly nervous.

“But you wanted to?”he asked.“Go to live with her, I mean?Only – when I’ve offered in the past, you refused.”

In spite of herself, she let out a short laugh.“It’s hardly the same, is it?To – establish a shared household with all having equal shares in the work done isn’t at all like living on charity.Besides, you have Elizabeth, and Marian – I would have been in the way.”

“I would not consider itcharity,” he said, “to house my sister, whose actions secured me this house and the trade I ply – which in turn is what allowed me to marry and have a family of my own.I should think that no less than myduty, given all that you sacrificed for me.”

She had never really thought of matters like that before.Yes, she had given a great deal for her brother’s sake – but hadn’t that, as well, been no less than her duty?Just as caring for Walter was her duty now?The idea of anyone owinghersomething was simply foreign to her nature; it would never have occurred to her, absent Matthew’s prompting.

“All the same,” she said, “the two are not comparable.It is the difference between – if you had found yourself in a bad way, and come to live with me while I was married, it would not be at all like you marrying Elizabeth, do you see?”That, again, was brushing up against the truth of what Constance had meant to her – still did mean to her, for all that her feelings were now useless.But she hoped at least that it would help Matthew understand.

“I do see, I think,” he said.He looked thoughtful, his brow furrowed.“Independence is no small thing.You would have had it here, if you’d accepted my offer, but I understand why you refused it.But with this Mistress Rykener, you might have had a ...”He trailed off, his frown deepening.She could see him grasping for which words to use, and felt it prudent to cut him off before he came to any inopportune conclusions.

“A partnership, with responsibility shared in kind,” she said.“But it is not to be, and so there is no use in my thinking on it any longer.I merely find it - difficult - not to brood.”She attempted a smile.“There are few distractions in Hilda’s house, after all.”

His frown had not dissipated.“I hardly think it fair or fitting, that Hilda be able to wield such power over you.Why should you not pursue your own fortune?Forgive me, but it’s not as if you provide her some service that she could not hire on a servant for.”

“Matthew,” she said, letting a hint of reproach creep into her voice.“She has Walter - or Piers and Ralf do, which is all to the same end.They would never let me take him.You know I would never - if the choice were between keeping him and leaving him behind - just think if it were Marian, what choice would you have?”

He looked down at her words, to where Marian was still seated on the floor with her toys.She seemed to sense her father’s eyes on her: she looked up, face breaking into a toothy smile as she launched herself to her feet, grasping the edge of Matthew’s chair for balance.He bent and lifted her into his lap, kissing the top of her head.When he spoke again, his voice was quiet - quieter than she thought she had ever heard from him.

“When we were first wed,” he said, “and I was perhaps more - rash than I ought to have been, Elizabeth and I quarreled.Our disagreement ran along much the same lines: she feared her old liege lord would take Marian from her as his rightful vassal, if she challenged him.I thought the risk worth it.But Marian was not yet born, then.”He tightened his grip on her.“If the same question were posed to me now, I think my answer would be different.We were fortunate.”Isabel did not miss the bitter twist of his mouth as he said it.“Lord Ferrers did not feel the need to impose his will on us.I think I would have been roused enough to go to war against him if he had tried.But he is a lord and we are peasants; the law offers us no redress against his abuses.Hilda is of your class.Surely there is some way to circumvent her.”

Isabel was shaking her head before he even finished speaking.“That would require money, and I have none.And,” she added as he opened his mouth, “do not think to offer your own - I know you prosper in your work, but a blacksmith may not win against a merchant’s wife where gold is concerned.”And even if he could, what recoursewasthere?Buying the wardship?The wardship was never the point: Hilda, Ralf, and Piers didn’t cling to it for their own gain, they did it on principle.Isabel and Walter were cuckoos in their nest, and their control over the wardship was revenge for the indignity of Isabel’s presence.Money could not buy that; it was worth more to them than a thousand pounds of gold and jewels.

“Not money, then,” he said.“But there must be something they value above that.Or some gesture you may offer that would appease them.”

Isabel began to shake her head again, then stopped.“There is,” she began, then cut herself off and began anew.“They wish to - reclaim what I took from them.Money, yes, but also their pride.To arrange matters so that my claim on Geoffrey’s estate is erased entirely and our marriage and its fruits forgotten.I might ...”She trailed off.An idea was taking shape.Money would not satisfy them - not her money.But if it were money they thought rightfully theirs, and she offered them the chance to claim it in its entirety ...

Matthew was watching her.She could tell from the look on his face that he knew she was calculating something, though he may not yet have grasped the shape of it.“There is a chance, then?”

Isabel looked down at where her hands were resting on the tabletop.There was a fine dusting of ashes on her fingertips, left over from Matthew’s haphazard attempt at sweeping.“A chance,” she said.“Only that.I am at their mercy, entirely.If they prove capricious, there is nothing I can do.And I do not wish to hope, and then have my hopes proven false.But - there is a chance, yes.”

Matthew nodded.“Have you need of my assistance?”

“Thank you, but no.”It was not even Matthew’s temperament that made her demur: this was something she had to do on her own.The presence of another person in the room would not sway Hilda, Ralf, or Piers.“But I will tell you, the moment I know more.And -“ She hesitated.“If I succeed, Walter and I will need a place to stay.At least until such time as I have earned enough money to take rooms.”She wasn’t sure how long that would be; she had not rented rooms in almost fifteen years, and had no notion of how much coin would be asked of her.Nor was she certain how much she could bring in with only her embroidery.She had the coin purse Constance had given her, and while she was loath to part with its contents - those coins were hardly hers by right, and Constance could make use of them - she was not above doing so and then paying Constance back later.If Constance even wished to see her again.

As if he had read her mind, Matthew asked, “what of your tailor?Have you no home with her?You are welcome here, of course, but if you would prefer -“

Isabel swallowed.“I don’t know,” she said.“When we parted, I -“ But that memory was too sharp to dwell on, and she had cried enough already today.“I don’t know.”

“I suppose you can’t,” Matthew said, “until you ask her.”The worduntilmade Isabel start slightly - the easy, simple assumption that she would be asking Constance, when she herself had not yet gathered the courage to do so.Her brother, it seemed, had more faith in her than she did in herself.

Marian, now bored in her father’s lap, was fussing to be set down.Matthew did so, then stood.“I had best begin to prepare supper, if I mean to have it ready when Elizabeth returns.Will you eat with us?”

Isabel opened her mouth to decline, then closed it.Hilda had given her leave for the afternoon.Why should she hasten back when she was - if all went well - shortly to be free of her demands forever?Why, especially, should she hurry away from her brother, when she had passed so much time apart from him in the name of protecting her position?And on that matter, she still had more to say.

“I owe you an apology,” she said.Matthew looked up, startled.“For my conduct, when you and Elizabeth first wished to wed.I was to you as Hilda has been to me, and -“

His brow creased in confusion.“How may you say so?You had no power over my comings and goings, much less my marriage.”

“But I still made the attempt,” she said.“If I had had my way, you would never have been wed at all.Or, you would have been wed to a woman not of your choosing, and Elizabeth would have been - I shudder to even think of it.I do not know how it is that you bear me no grudge for it.”