Page 36 of Examining the Bond

RIANN

Every click of my boot heels against the marble floor makes my stomach twist into a tighter knot as I walk away from Skylar’s office. Putting space between us right now feels wrong on so many levels, but I can’t sort out exactly how I feel.

It’s all too much, too fast.

Part of me is numb, trying to process everything that just happened. I still can’t believe I managed to seduce the female alpha, even though she had me crying out and coming minutes ago.

The other part of me is a torrent of emotions. Excitement clashes with relief and guilt, and it’s all wrapped up in a brittle coating of nerves.

My hands are shaking, my knees wobbling as I march toward the front door.

What have I done?

I try to act normally as I pass the receptionist desk, even offering a small wave before ducking my head and hurrying for the door. I reek of sugar and pine and sex, but hopefully what just happened isn’t that obvious.

I’ll never forgive myself if Skylar gets fired.

The second I step outside, the freezing air slams into me, cutting through my clothes and hectic thoughts. My bare thighs are freezing, made colder by the slick sticking to them. Shivering, I turn left and hurry down the sidewalk toward the hotel next door.

Hazy images from Skylar’s office flitter through my mind, but the icy bite of the air keeps me distracted until I reach the hotel. The beta at the front desk cocks a curious brow at me as I rush by, but I don't slow down. I jam my thumb into the elevator button and impatiently rock on the balls of my feet until the doors pop open.

I'm growing more uneasy by the second, and as the elevator doors slide closed to seal me inside the tiny space, I realize why.

I want my nest.

In fact, I've never yearned for it more than I do now.

I long for the comfort a perfectly made nest brings, and the warmth and peace that come with it. I want to wrap myself up tight and settle into the softness, preferably after it's been soaked in Skylar’s mouth-watering scent.

Unfortunately, all I have is the pitiful bed in my hotel room.

It'll have to do.

My phone pings as I step off the elevator, but I ignore it. I’m sure it’s Ziel; I haven’t updated him since I was in the waiting room, and I’m sure he has questions.

Questions that I’m not ready to answer.

I can’t decide if I want to squeal and kick my feet or crawl into my nest and cry, but the weight in my chest is undeniable. At first, it feels like regret, but I know that can’t be it. It was a stupididea, and a reckless decision on both our parts, but I wouldn’t take back a second of being with Skylar.

In fact, I’d do it all again, even if it meant feeling this way.

She brought out a side of me I’ve never seen. Someone bold and carefree, someone brave. Every time she touched me, my skin lit up with little jolts of electricity, and when she kissed me…

My insides flutter at the thought, and I can’t fight the smile curling my lips.

Kissing her was everything.

I fumble with my key card and stumble into the room. My legs are sore and feel like jelly, but I manage to kick off my boots before collapsing straight onto the bed. I grab at the blankets, pulling them tighter and tucking them around me like a cocoon.

The smell of Skylar’s sharp, smoky scent clings to my skin, mixing with the faint scent of body wash still left on the sheets, and I take several deep inhales to breathe it in. Aside from the twinge of disappointment still tugging at my chest, this moment is everything I imagined it would be.

It had all been so perfect, like something out of a dream.

From Skylar on her knees in front of me, to her tongue dancing over my skin, to her kissing me until I couldn’t breathe…

“You have to go.”Her words replay in my head like a final goodbye, even though I know I’ll see her tomorrow.

I didn’t want to leave; I wanted to stay and revel in her closeness, but what choice did I have?