Page 67 of Sucker Punch Drunk Love

“You know, you don't have to wait with me?—”

“Come on, Sierra, I'm alreadyhere. I'm not gonna leave you like this, geez,” as I melted into another hug, and he took my hand, leading me to the cluster of chairs.

“I hope she ends up okay,” he said, reaching the back of my hand to his lips to comfort.

“Nothing is confirmed, but I'm told she will. It just sucks I wasn't there.”

“Would you have rather missed the fight? Gave you a hell of a payday,” he asserted.

“Honestly, I don't know. On one hand, I wish I hadn't been so far. But if I hadn't needed the money, I wouldn't have been so far. So, it's hard to know what was the right thing to do.”

“Well, itwasone hell of a fight,” he smiled. And if I wasn't so worried about Mónica, I would have beamed at his approval. “If she were old enough to understand what you do, I'm sure your daughter would have been proud too.”

Josue fidgeted a lot in his chair, that made me assume on his end, his chair wasn't very comfortable. Or maybe, hehimselfwasn't very comfortable. I didn't want to, but I could take one guess why.

He wasn't built for this. Dealing with the realities of a fighter who was a mom. Someone who would drop everything for her kid. Honestly, it was selfish to ask him to, given he'd intentionally stayed child-free by choice all this time.

“Maybe it's time you went home,” I said, gently trying to take my hand from his. This wouldn't be easy for me, but I wasn't going anywhere. At least not for now.

“Home’s like an hour and a half drive. If anything, I’d just book a hotel, so we can be close until we head back to Newark?—”

“That's the thing,” desperately trying to tenderly rip off the band aid. “I'm not coming back with you to Newark.”

“What do you mean you're not coming?” he laughed, so he must’ve he thought I was joking. When I didn't join in, his face turned serious. “Do you mean, like…you need a couple days? Maybe a week or two to make sure?—”

“Josue, you’re making this harder than I wanted. I genuinely don’tknowhow much time I’ll need,” as I wiped away the tears I’d fought so hard not to show. “I'm trying to figure out a lot rightnow, and I don't think I should leave Philly until my business is settled.”

“Yeah, but you're going to come back, right?” The only ever time I’d seen his eyes with this much sadness in them, was when he admitted how his mom died. I hated that I had brought him that pain again.

“If it means leaving my daughter, when I might have a chance at getting her back, then no,” I bluntly admitted.

“Sierra, if it's about space, I'm willing to shift things around. I have the room. All it would just take?—”

“Josue, I’m not going to force you into a wall given your stance on kids?—”

“And I thought I made it clear to you, that I didn’tmindthat you have a kid,” he argued.

“Yeah but, my daughter’s stability would be on the line. What if you get bored? What if an arrangement doesn’t work out. I’ve been there before. Bouncing between floors and couches. All so my mother wasn’t without a man. I’m not going to risk my daughter’s future housing over someone who’s just my trainer.” Josue’s eyes widened at my words, and as much as it hurt to say them, I had two choices, and I wasn’t going to repeat what my mother put me through.

“Wow,” he pursed his lips, scratching his nose with his index finger. “Just your trainer…Okay,” he dismissed, and suddenly, I was brought back to the version of Josue that saw me as…just a woman.

“It didn’t seem to bother you when I introduced you that way to my daughter’s grandmother?—”

“Sierra, I don’t know how the fuck that woman feels about you? I figured you were just protecting yourself. But to say I’mjustyour trainer?” he questioned, as tears welled but he managed to keep his composure and never let them fall. “So, I guess fuck me, right? Guess it’s good I know my place,” he spat.

“I know you’re not really that mad. You knew what it was between us?—”

“I knew we were building something. But I guess none of that shit matters.” He shrugged. “I get it. Cost of dealing with female fighters,” he laughed, trying to act nonchalant. “Even without me, you’ve achieved a lot, and I just don’t want to see everything you’ve built for yourself get thrown away, kid.”

Nowthatstung. From his cold expression, and darkening eyes, there wasn’t a doubt he was disappointed, even if I couldn’t read it from his face. He hadn’t called me kid unless he was mad at me. Now I wasn’t so sure I’d ever earn his respect back.

“I’m not trying to, but since I lost her, my only goal has been to fight for her. And I have so much I need to figure out on my own, that I’m giving you the chance to gracefully bow out.”

“And that’s what you want, Medina?” he asked once more, his emotions balanced in his tone.

“It’s not. But it’s probably what’s best,” I admitted. He stood, raking his fingers through his hair once more, unable to face me.

“Do what you gotta do, kid,” he said, walking in the direction of the elevator, and never looked back.