Page 56 of Sucker Punch Drunk Love

When it came to Josue, asking for something had consequences. He was determined to turn me into a real-life she-wolf. Working out in the evening, working me out in the afternoon. It was like my entire training routine changed overnight.

“What are you looking at me for? Medina, eyes up front,” he yelled from a voice amplifier from the front seat of his car, trailing me during my morning run. This is what I asked for. If I wanted to beat DaCosta, I had to endure four weeks of this shit. Sometimes I was so worn down, he'd have to help me bathe, but I wanted to win. Ineededto win. If this was what it took, I'd be willing to do anything.

But nothing could have prepared me for what came in between.

“You're clenching your jaw too much, dear. Soften your face up a bit,” a makeup artist instructed, covering up the kiss of a bruise I barely even noticed.

Josue was building hype on his end, scheduling a string of engagements to build momentum and eyes to the fight. We traveled all the time for fights, so it’s not like this was new.

But all his work was behind the scenes, which meantminewere in front. The interviews, the podcast sit-downs, the photoshoots? Those I could do without. Did people really even read sports magazines for interviews, or did they just gawk at the bodies they admired and wanted to jack off to?

I was grateful there had been mainly women at the shoot. Especially since the last time I had been offered one unrepresented, desperate for money, I found myself in an uncomfortable situation. Not wanting to learn the hard way if an all-male crew had ill intentions, I ended up climbing out a bathroom window and promising never to put myself in a situation like that unless I had someone legit setting things up.

“You got a nice little body girl, but covering up all these scars and bruises got me working,” a femme presenting person said, applying airbrush and makeup to make my skin appear flawless. I've never seen my body asnice. More, that it performed the way I had trained it to do and the results just matched my effort. But I did agree, aside from the bra and panty set being so itchy, it did make my body look less masculine. I just wish Josue had been here, but he’d had phone calls to make. I'm sure watching me model intimate wear or fitness gear wasn't something that would top his list of fun. Plus, I was sure he’d prefer me without airbrush any day.

We’d bulldozed through blurring the lines of our situationship months ago, but I still liked the attention. In a different world, I’d want more, but I tried to enjoy the parts of him that I could. Josue was freaking perfect, or at least the kind of perfect that I had access to. But I was realistic. No man wanted to be responsible for a kid that wasn’t theirs.

I don’t regret being a single mom, I just came to terms with the fact if I ever wanted to be partnered with someone male, I’d be his just-for-fun. Which I guess I could live with. For now, anyways. Maybe I could revisit genuine romantic relationshipswhen my daughter was out of the house. For now, I was just having fun.

Which reminded me, photoshoots weren't as much fun, but in time it was looking like they came with the job, so I was trying to adapt. I was so used to being seen as a weapon, I wasn't prepared to be a woman meant to be seen. Don't get me wrong, I saw myself as my own version of sexy. I just didn't think in this line of work everyone else would.

Sometimes a camera would love me, sometimes I'd struggle with posing. But there was a part of me that was going to kiss my functional sports bra and cotton underwear next time I wore them instead of cursing them for cutting into my skin after a long day.

In comparison, the sports shoot I did the other day hadn't been much better. I got to do things that came more naturally to my body. Game face expressions. Shadow boxing poses. Only difference was I had to do them in a bikini. What they both had in common was how relieved I was when I reached the hotel.

Wanting to wash the day off, I hadn't even noticed how congested the beginning of the hotel suite looked in my rush to the shower. There were all these racks of clothes that weren’t there before I left, both gym and leisure wear.

Josue was pacing in the hotel room in full on manager mode—arguing…negotiating? I couldn't always catch everything when he spoke in rapid fire Spanish. When he noticed me, I pointed to all the racks, mouthing “What is this?”

Hugging me from behind, he peppered a trail of kisses down my shoulder and neck, before covering the bottom of his phone to mouth “Brand sample offers,” before continuing his conversation on the phone.

Since I doubt any of these outfits were leaving with us, I decided to do a mini fashion show, or at least with things I could slip in and out of without a bra and panties.

There wasn't a single place I'd wear a party dress with fringe on the outside of it, but shaking around in it made me feel like a 1920’s flapper. After seeing how much it was worth, I decided it wasn't worth getting it ruined, because if I couldn't pay that price in rent, there is no way I was paying that on a dress.

A half hour of this and I decided to put on some real clothes, but I had to take a deep breath and make sure I wasn’t imagining how nice of a hotel this was in comparison to the first one. It felt like so much space to be wasting for two people, but I wasn’t mad at it.

Slipping into a sports bra and cotton briefs, I couldn't remember if I’d packed my favorite hoodie—which in reality was really Josue’s hoodie, I just really liked how baggy it was on me. Bending down to ram shack his suitcase, all of a sudden, strong arms hoisted me on his shoulders, carrying me to the bedroom suite.

“Hey,” beating against his chest with my feet. “I was trying to get dressed.”

“Good thing I beat you to it, because after the news I share, you may not have anyneedfor clothes,” he flirted.

“The news can't bethatgood,” I countered.

“Have some faith in me, woman,” as he threw me on the bed and joined me by jumping on.

Crawling onto his lap, I wrapped my arms around him, eager to what his news was. “Did it have to do with who you've been on the phone with all day?”

“That amongst many things,” he smiled. “I just madeyoua lot of money.”

“Okay?”

“You can be a little more excited. I got you two brand deals. Negotiating those alongside two others. You said you wanted something Black or Latin owned. So, I’ll have you know, that I'mbeing straddled by a new face for Fenty,” as I screamed before he could even finish.

“The makeup side or the intimate wear side?” asking for clarification.

“Makeup? The highest I could get them was 200k for three years, but it's a good thing I got on the phone with Lexus. Deal is for 1.5 but you got to do a commercial or two to sweeten the pot for them.”