Page 62 of Big & Lily

“Of course.” The tone in her voice was alarming for its softness.

“Privately.”

My heart revved up its beats waiting to find out what waswrong. Yes, I was definitely going to need more than three weeks to break my old habits. We stood and moved away from the group. Lily grabbed my hand and headed toward the outhouse. I followed her to the shabby wooden structure, prepared to guard the door for her, when she stopped short, turned, and held a hand to my chest.

“Did you hear that poem?”

“Of course, I was sitting right next to—”

“No, but did you hear it? It’s karma, I’m telling you. ‘Tarry not, and fear not... the Lone Trail waits for you...’ I need to go up there. To see the sunrise. I don’t care if you think the Wizard was a fake, I want to believe it. I want to have my last experience before I go home to that shit show to be something spiritual, something that will give me some goddamned strength, something to hold onto whenever the tide of what’s coming starts to drown me.”

I thought about my fox and twisted Luna’s ring around my finger. I had a reminder of what I’d learned here, one that I could carry home.

“I’ve made up my mind. I’m going with or without you. It’s that important to me. Honestly, it’s not like I haven’t been up the same trail already. It’s straight up, I couldn’t possibly get lost, and I’d be back long before anyone wakes up. Now, come guard the door, I really do have to pee.”

Back at the campfire, I sat down next to Luna and Mimi. “Can I ask you two a question?” My friends turned to me with open faces. “Did you ever do something so out of your comfort zone you thought your heart would explode?”

“More times than I can remember,” said Luna. “And I never regretted it. Not once.”

Lily is stuffing everything into her suitcase except for what she plans to wear tomorrow. “So,” I say, reopening my own case andpulling out a fleece vest. “Two-thirty wake-up call. Who’s setting the alarm, you or me?”

“No! Big! Really?”

“Someone has to make sure you come back in one piece. Mom would kill me.”

Chapter Thirty

When the alarm on my phone goes off at two fifteen, I’m already awake. Nothing ruins a night’s sleep like an impossibly early call time. Especially when said call time is for something this anxiety producing. The truth is, I want to go. Or at least, I want to want to go. Which is close enough.

I throw back my covers and swing my feet onto a braided throw rug that is meant to add glamour to the glamping. We’d decided to sleep in our clothes for an easy exit, so all I need to do is slip into my hiking boots. Lily is right, it’s up and down on a trail that is practically a straight line. We’ll be back before anyone knows we left. I still can’t help but imagine the look on Brick’s face if he finds out we’ve broken the rule he’s repeated over and over again, don’t wander off.

I have to shake Lily to rouse her. She groans and swats me away as if I’m making her wake up for school. “This was your idea,” I hiss, and she blinks at me. Then she remembers her own scheme and flings back the covers. We’ll be traveling light: our phones for photo ops, a couple of granola bars for breakfast on the move, and the bear spray clipped to my belt to appease me. Lily takes the backpack she’s leaving behind and puts it under her blanket to form a half-assed body shape.

“When in the history of the world has that trick ever worked?” I ask.

Lily shushes me with a finger to her lips. “Alcatraz,” is all she says.

“Great,” I say, shaking my head, but putting my own backpack under the covers.

Within moments, we are tiptoeing out of the yurt. The sun may have set at midnight, but there is still enough dusky light for us to be seen. We creep around the yurt, watching our steps for twigs that could snap or rocks that could make us scream out if we stub a toe. But before we pass the shadow of our hut, we hear a bang and my heart stops. Lily grabs my arm so tightly I am sure to yelp and give us away. We duck and swivel our heads toward the noise, and there is Ian stumbling out of the outhouse. This is my fault; I should have factored this into our escape plan. I live with a man who wakes up three times in the night since he hit fifty. I should have known that it was a risk to our getting caught.

Crouching behind the tent, we wait for Ian to find his way back to bed, and then we racewalk out of the camp and don’t stop until we arrive at the trailhead. The adrenaline has hit and given us both the giggles. We hold our hands over our mouths, each shushing the other until we calm down.

Lily lets out a sigh. “Thanks for doing this with me. I feel better already.”

“It’s all uphill from here, hon.”

“Right,” she says. “Things are going to get better; I can handle what’s coming.”

“No, I meant the trail. All uphill. Steeper and steeper.”

“No, you didn’t! A Big joke?”

“Bad?”

“Terrible. But I love it.”

I shrug and smile mischievously. Rule breaking has its upsides, a Lily proverbial pat on the back. Those are few and far between.