Page 50 of Big & Lily

It wasn’t the last time I’d intervened on Lily’s behalf. But if I’m going to start accepting Alaska’s gifts, as Brick has suggested, I need to start with learning how to use my voice. “I’m sorry, hon,” I’d said. “I’m not going to tell a grown man you think he has cooties. You need do it yourself. You’ve got to solve this. It is small potatoes compared to what you have to face at home.”

Despite my spiel only moments ago, I see my sister across the picnic blanket, chatting with the teen and avoiding real life, and start to cave. It’s second nature to me, as normal as breathing, to stand in front of Lily, knocking down her obstacles; snowplowing, as I explained to Brick. I am this close to giving in and doing it again, of sitting next to Dane in that empty chair and telling him we need to chat, when Luna saves me. Inadvertently or not.

“Bridget, come join us by this creek. We are going to do some bird-watching while we eat. Mimi saw a red-throated loon on the water. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Very,” I say, gratefully. I grab one of Heidi’s world-famous sandwiches and a bag of chips and follow my friends the few feet to the creek. “Man, I’m going to miss Heidi,” I say after peeling back the wax paper and taking a bite of the most delicious chicken salad I’ve ever eaten. Running from a moose sure builds an appetite.

“Hey, Big,” says Lily, who has followed us to the water, Heidi’s sandwich held up in front of her. “Remember the chicken salad you made for mom’s sixty-fifth birthday that made everyone sick for three days? This is way better.”

I shake my head. “Mom wrote me out of her will after that.” We both laugh as Luna and Mimi shake their heads at us incredulously. It’s a relief to have things back to normal.

When Lily and Mimi stand and walk to the creek’s edge to get closer the loon, Luna nudges me with her toe. “You two seem aligned again.”

“Well, she had to do something really stupid before she realized she’d taken things too far. But I think we’re okay now.”

She lowers her voice and steals a glance back. “Yes, we know all about that.”

“Everyone? Oh God, I was hoping it wouldn’t get around.”

“Well, it’s a small group. What’s that expression, ‘familiarity breeds contempt’?” I think it’s quite the opposite. Familiarity breeds family. We care about each other, we merry band of travelers, but there is inevitably going to be the chitter-chatter. Human nature, I suppose.”

As always, I must provide protective cover for my sister. “She is going through a lot. At home.”

“No judgment. We are all only seeing the tip of the iceberg, aren’t we?”

I look over at the circle of picnickers, each with a reason for being here beyond enjoying the great outdoors. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Luna pats my hand and then tucks a curl behind her ear. I see something I hadn’t noticed before, a tiny fox tattoo at her hairline.

“I like that,” I say, and she cocks her head, confused, until she realizes what I’m pointing at.

“Oh, my fox. Yes, thank you. He always sits by my ear so I can hear what he’s whispering to me. Foxes are very wise.”

“I’ve been seeing foxes since I’ve been here,” I tell her. I share my encounters, my moments where seeing the animal slowed my breathing and gave me focus.

“He’s trying to tell you something,” Luna says with such certainty.

“I’m no Dr. Dolittle, animals don’t talk to me. My daughter, Annie, on the other hand. My house would have become Noah’s Ark if she’d had her way growing up.”

“You need to listen harder. A fox doesn’t present itself to just anyone.”

“I’m flattered, but I doubt it was even the same animal. The first one was miles from the second.”

Luna shakes her head like a patient schoolteacher with an uncooperative child. “It doesn’t have to be the same fox; how would that work?”

“I thought it was a mystical creature—”

“Any animal who presents itself to you in the way you describe most certainly wants to share something important with you. I’m sure you think this is silly, but it’s not. The fox is a creature of silent wisdom, helping you to make meaningful decisions and changes in your life. It can prevent you from taking the wrong path in your relationships and assists you in adapting quickly to new ways of thinking—aid you in being more confident in your choices.”

My eyes are hot; I try to blink away the coming tears, but they run down my face regardless. That’s what Brick was trying to say last night. Now Luna is showing me I have support, even if it is from a cunning woodland creature. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m exhausted.”

“Accept what he wants to tell you. You’ll be surprised at what strength and energy that gives you.” She holds out her hand and shows me the many rings she’s wearing. One is made of a delicate silver with the head and tail of a fox wrapping around her finger; Luna twists it off and gives it to me. “Take this. It will remind you to keep your heart and mind open.”

“I couldn’t.”

“I insist.” She presses the ring into my palm.

“Are you sure you aren’t my wise, guiding animal?” I ask.