Page 32 of Big & Lily

“Still,” says Brick. “We don’t need our clients in the middle of any kerfuffles, that’s not what you came to Alaska for.” He gives his sister a sibling glance of disapproval, one I’ve used often myself.

“Right,” she says. “I’ll talk to him. He can go hang out at the Copper Mine in Kennicott for the rest of the week.”

Our group huddles around Lily and Dane. Xavier looks at his new action hero with saucer eyes. Ian goes to the bar to finish Lily’s job. I right the fallen chair and start to pick up pieces of broken glass as if it was my kid who spilled the punch at the party. Heidi tries to shoo me away, but old habits die hard. I turn my back for a moment, to toss the shards into a trash bin, and when I get back at the group, Lily and Dane are gone.

“Have you seen Lily?” I ask Ian, his hands full of the fresh beers.

“I think they’re outside.”

They.

“They said they wanted a smoke,” adds Xavier.

There’s that word again. There is nothey. Not on my watch.

“Lily doesn’t smoke,” I snap at an innocent teenage boy. “I’m sorry, Xavier. I’m tired. I’m going to go to bed now. Brick, is it okay for me to walk back to camp?” I’m exhausted, but I could use the time alone with Lily, who I intend to drag out of here with me. Enough of this nonsense.

“I’d rather you didn’t, Bridget. I’ll run you back.”

“I don’t want to pull you away.”

“It will take two secs.”

“When are you off duty?” I say, grateful for the lift.

“When my last client is tucked in for the night,” he says with a smile, no malice for keeping him working till all hours on his kind face. “Well, then. I’m going to grab Heidi’s truck out back. After you, Bridget.”

“Just let me get Lily. I’ll meet you back there in a sec.”

“No problem. Back exit is through the kitchen.”

We part, and I head toward the front door. Stepping outside is otherworldly and unsettling. It’s as light as a midafternoon even though my phone tells me it’s after nine and my old bones scream,It’s the dead of night, you fool, why aren’t you in bed?

“The sun sets around eleven thirty this time of year,” Brick had said earlier when I’d asked him what gives. “We have about twenty hours of sunlight in the summer. Up north, it’s twenty-four. Come back in the winter. New Year’s Day is our shortest day. Five hours of light. It gets a little better every day after that.”

“I guess they sell a lot of light-therapy lamps up here. The Seasonal Affective Disorder must be rampant.”

“Ha, you get used to it. Having said that, every once in a while, you hear something howling at the moon. And it’s not a wolf. Although the ruckus can rile them up too. Then it’s a whole symphony out here.”

I’d sighed and silently addedwolfto the list of beasts out here that could take me out.

I step out onto the front porch of the Heidaway. My secondhand hiking boots, finally dry after the long hike back to the trailhead and an hour on Brick’s boot heater, make a hollow thump on the worn wood. Lily is nowhere to be seen. Neither is Dane. I wander into the parking lot, where every vehicle is a dusty or muddy or rusty pickup truck. One has a large brown dog sitting in the cab, waiting for its owner to finish their beer. I finally spot her, her back against a tall, thick tree. Dane is standing with her, one straight arm leaning on the tree trunk. From here I can see the glow of the two cigarettes they each have tucked between their fingers.

“Lily!” I shout from across the parking lot. It’s my mother’s voice coming out, sharp and accusatory. Like when she arrived at the accident scene, the very one Lily was so glibly telling our new friends about, only it wasn’t my sister’s name my mother was shouting. It was mine.“Bridget! What have you done? Look at your sister. Do you see these bruises? Right across her... her lady parts. My God, I’ll be surprised if she’ll be able to have children after this.”The bruises from the seat belt had bloomed quickly across my sister’s little body. She shouldn’t have been in the front seat. She shouldn’t have been in the car. Why didn’t I just say no? Why couldn’t I ever say no to Lily? The guilt and responsibility seared my soul like a hot branding iron, and the mark never went away.

I readjust my tone as I approach them. My sister takes a defiant drag of her cigarette.

“Lily,” I say calmly, like I’m approaching a stray dog who might spook and run. “Let’s go, hon. I’m exhausted.Knackered, as Jace says.” I offer a knowing smile, proving how cool I am to have picked up on the lingo in a day and a half.

My sister takes another amateur puff. “Go on, then. I’m not tired yet. I’ll go back with the guys later.”

“Lil, please. I really need you to come with me. Now.” I don’t have the energy to come up with an excuse I can use in front ofDane. In fact, my leaden weariness is turning my bones to dust and zapping my patience. I grab onto Lily’s wrist, my grip meant to be gentler and more persuading than it is. My sister jerks her arm out of my reach.

“Get off, Big.”

“Dammit, Lily. Can’t you just for once—”

“Ladies, ladies,” Dane butts in with a slight sardonic smile, which is instantly infuriating.