Page 25 of Big & Lily

“We’ll be crossing the creek soon. Aim for flat, dry rocks. No one wants to take a swim today—that’s glacial water.”

We continue to pick our way through the rocks and follow the creek uphill on our left. Ahead of me, as the guys hop from rockto rock, I see Luna with her arm around her wife’s waist. Mimi is leaning on her.

I catch up to the women. “Everything good?” I ask Luna. Mimi’s brow is dotted with sweat, and her eyes are glassy.

“She’s fine,” Luna says but she squeezes Mimi’s forearm in a way that makes me think that’s not true. “She’s super strong. Aren’t you, sweetie? She hasn’t, I mean, it’s been a while since...”

Mimi touches her arm, a signal to stop with what she’s about to say. Something about the expression on both women’s faces makes me think “been a while” doesn’t mean it’s because they were filing their days with less active adventures. Could be Lily isn’t the only one with a secret.

I don’t ask. Instead, I say, “Oh, I’m with you. I was ready for a nap back in Mosquitoville.”

“Do you need a break?” Luna asks Mimi.

“No, I don’t want to hold up the group. I’m okay.”

“Mimi, you said you’d be honest about—”

“Honey, I’m fine.”

Before it can go any further, I cup my hand to the side of my mouth and yell up to the front of the group. “Can we take a quick break? My dogs are barking.”

“Sure,” says Brick. “Let’s stop for a snack. Jace’s got a pack of Heidi’s seed bars. Take a seat on these rocks. Jace, hand ’em out, will you?”

Luna flashes me a grateful nod. Lily plops down next to me on a cool, flat stone and says, “Maybe you should have taken a few spin classes before we left.”

“You didn’t exactly give me time to get in shape before you sprung this on me,” I quip back.

“I didn’t exactly have advance warning myself,” she reminds me as she pulls off a boot and shakes the dirt out of it.

All of a sudden, my irritation slips away. “I know, Lil.”

Jace hands out the snacks and we all kvell over Heidi’s baking as if she were here to take a bow. Except for Xavier, who brings his down to the water’s edge, where he starts a balancing act on the rocks lining the creek.

“Careful you don’t slip,” I shout out as if the boy is fourteen-year-old Cameron and not someone else’s kid.

“Big!” Lily rolls her eyes.

“Sorry! Old habits, and all that.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” says Ian. “He barely hears me anymore.”

“I think that’s a teenager’s job,” I say.

“Yeah, well. It’s not just me. He lives with his mother, and she’s at the end of her rope with him. Calls from the school, her getting dragged down there a bunch of times. He almost got expelled this year. He’s got to straighten up.

“The guidance counselor suggested an Outward Bound program, where they send them out in the wilderness to fend for themselves. I figured this would be better—add a male authority figure to the mix. A father/son Outward Bound, as it were. I thought we could do it together—except with a professional guide so we don’t kill ourselves. Ha. I thought Xavier would be into it. But so far, well, you see him.”

Everyone is quiet. That’s why the boy looks like he’s been dragged out here. Because he has.

Lily stands up and walks to the water’s edge, where she hops on a wet rock, following Xavier out into the middle of the stream, holding her arms out for balance, and shouting something to the boy we can’t hear. He turns around, the grin on his face wide when he sees her.

“She’s good with him,” says Luna.

I smile, knowing that Lily earned the Best Aunt of the Year award from my kids. It’s an honor that my sister considers the consolation prize. “Want to trade lives?” she’d ask me when the monthsof trying turned to years, when it became clear that IVF wasn’t an option, when she’d have a hot flash or a sleepless night and she was sure she was running out of time. She had little patience for my occasional bitching; about being tired or overwhelmed, adolescent angst, school stress, and the noise—no matter how old they got, there was always a new noise. Lily would have taken it all in a heartbeat.

“If you want to know the truth, I think he’s got a crush on her,” says Ian.

“Who doesn’t,” says Dane, which gets a chuckle out of everyone in the group—except me. I’m starting to not like this guy. Every fiber of my being wants to stand up and shout, “She’s married, asshole,” but I promised my sister I’d let her play her little game. I’m not sure how much longer my loyalty is going to last. This guy, the police-show character actor who recently went through thirty days of something ominous that easily could have included an orange jumpsuit—I need to find a way to tell him to back off. Perhaps there is a cliff with his name on it. Okay, dramatic. But Lily is playing a dangerous game, and someone besides Just Normal Dane might have to take the role of bad cop here.