Page 37 of Love in Development

Chapter 11

Istared at the acceptanceletter to SCAD, spread out on my desk, as if it were a particularly deadly trap.The last barrier had fallen away.Now I had no more excuses.I had the best friends in the whole wide world, and I couldn’t tell them the truth.I couldn’t afford to go to college with them.

So I had been avoiding them for the past week.But Lin and Charisse weren’t people to be ignored.It was like a game of hide-and-seek, and I was the only one who knew we were playing.

My goal was still too far out of reach.It was like the moon.I could see it all the time.It seemed feasible to touch it, if I could just get a bit closer...But reality was very different.I’d never touch the moon.

I zipped up my hoodie, even though the summer sun filtering through the trees outside warmed my bedroom through the window.It was no willow, but I wanted it to be.Needing emotional fortification, I logged into COTSA, and there he was...my Knight in shining armor.

ScarlettSaber: Hey.

Why did I suddenly feel shy?On top of the disappointment, guilt, and despair...

IvoryKnight: Hey.I was just celebrating.

Lin and Charisse were celebrating too, or they had been.

ScarlettSaber: Celebrating what?

IvoryKnight: Come with me.

I could practically feel his hand in mine as he led me to our secret place to be alone.Was it strange that I felt alone with him here and that my whole body was buzzing?At least he couldn’t hear my breathy gasps.The willow strands shifted above our avatars’ heads.

IvoryKnight: I stood up to my parents.Im going to the college of my choice.

My hands tightened on my trackball and keyboard, and I swallowed.

IvoryKnight: SCAD still has a championship team, and I still have to compete.But Im so stoked.It worked!

ScarlettSaber: That’s so great!

I felt happy for him.I did.But my own stomach was now fighting itself.Tears threatened, and my throat tightened.

IvoryKnight: What about you?

I glanced at the viper masquerading as an acceptance letter on my desk, ready to strike at any time.Wait—What?IK was going to SCAD too?That meant—What would I tell him?I bit my lip and typed.

ScarlettSaber: I got accepted to the college of my choice too.

There, it was out.But I hadn’t told him the whole truth.What would I tell my friends?

IvoryKnight: Thats so awesome!

But was it?Was it a good thing when I felt farther than ever from achieving my goal of going there?And now that I knew IK was planning on going there, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.About the possibilities in our relationship.I knew he could be my next-door neighbor, but unless I revealed too much information or met him in person, he—and I—would never know.

I must have taken too long to answer or something.He was a master at reading my emotions with only text to go on.

IvoryKnight: Isnt it?What’s wrong?

And I remembered, it didn’t matter if IK was going to SCAD.The whole-zombie-apocalypse-world could go to SCAD but me.

ScarlettSaber: Im never going to be able to afford to go there.Im too scared to tell my friends.They have all these plans.Its just a dream.I’ll probably put it off this semester and promise my friends I’ll join them next semester.And that will continue on for who knows how long until we drift apart, and they forget about me, and it takes me twenty years to get my degree.