Page 143 of Just One More Thing

“Jake—“

“She gets to decide what she wants,” I say. “That’s it. That’s the whole thing. I’m not telling her I turned something down so she feels like she owes me. That’s not how I want her to choose.”

Ryan exhales slowly into the phone. “What if she leaves, Jake?”

The words land harder than they should. Mostly because he’s one of the few people alive who saw what happened the last time she did. He remembers that version of me.

“I’m not chasing someone who hasn’t decided to stay.”

“That sounds like acceptance.”

“It is acceptance.”

“It also sounds like bullshit.”

I laugh softly under my breath.

“You’ve been stupid over that woman since shoulder pads had actual buckles.”

“That’s rich coming from the guy who drove six hours to return an AirPod case a woman left in his truck.”

“It was five,” he says, laughing now too. “And stop deflecting. Is this time different if she leaves?”

I don’t have to think about the answer. It’s all I’ve been thinking about. It’s all I’ve been trying not to think about.

“Yeah,” I say finally. “It’s different.”

“How?”

I look down at the dock boards beneath my feet. “Because before, I missed her.” I drag a hand over the back of my neck and stare out at the water. “Now I know what it feels like when she stays.”

Silence. Long enough that I pull the phone away from my ear to make sure the call didn’t drop.

“Damn,” Ryan says quietly.

Somebody calls his name again, louder this time. “I gotta go back out.”

“Go.”

“If they call, you don’t owe them an answer on the spot.”

“I know.”

“And for what it’s worth,” he says, “I think you know what you’re doing.”

I look across the bay. “For what it’s worth,” I tell him, “I think you’re wrong. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Ryan laughs. “Love you, man.”

“Love you too.”

The line goes dead. For a second I just stand there with the phone hanging loose in my hand.

They’re going to call.

I look down at the dark screen, catching a rough reflection of myself in it. A man who used to read pressure for a living and somehow didn’t see this coming.

And the truth is, I already know what I’m going to say, because this is my life now.