Page 54 of Bless This Hot Mess

Rebekkah bounced on her toes, practically glowing from the excitement, “It’s all happening! Japheth, I’m sorry you can’t meet Rino, but heisa mobster, I think. And we really do need you focused and with us right now. We have so much to do!”

Japheth glanced at Ronald, taking a deep breath, “Rebekkah… Ronald and I spent the afternoon together, and he said some really, really smart stuff. Things that got me thinking about how sometimes you and I leave some things unsaid between us. And I don’t want that anymore. I want there to be nothing between the three of us. We’re about to be small-town famous, and I’d never want you to hear something about me from someone else. Especially before you heard it from me…”

Rebekkah’s expression hardened to concern, “Japheth,what is it? Are you in trouble? Are the Ferraris threatening you? Blackmailing you?! Did Rino talk about gutting fish? Or anything about how pretty the head of a horse is?”

Japheth shook his head, almost laughing, “What?! NO!”

“Okay, then what is it?” Rebekkah pressed.

Ronald nodded encouragingly, “Just tell her Japheth.”

He exhaled sharply, “Rebekkah, I’m a little bit gay.”

Rebekkah stared at him, unblinking, “Uh-huh.”

Japheth took a step forward, “Gay,Rebekkah. Not happy, well that, too. But gay.”

Rebekkah smiled at him warmly, “Yeah, I know. And not just a little bit. That would be like saying it drizzled a little bit when Noah built the ark.”

Japheth blinked, “You know?”

“Of course I know,” she replied, shrugging like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“And…?” Japheth ventured, still unsure how his best friend and partner in prayer was appraising him.

“And… I think it’s great,” Rebekkah said, her tone as kind as ever. “I know the Bible has some obtuse references to not lie with other men, but I really think that’s misinterpreted. Who would have a problem with cuddling?! I’m pretty sure it means don’t stand around and lie to each other. Just be honest. Like you’re doing now.”

Japheth looked at her, relief flooding through him, “Thank you.”

“Nothing between us, right?” Rebekkah asked, pulling him into a hug.

Ronald clapped Japheth on the back, “Thick as thieves.”

Rebekkah grinned, “We’re like Robin Hood and his merry men and one hot ingénue! We’re going to steal sexy, slutty, and sinful top forty songs…”

“And give them to the poor in spirit!” Japheth finished, a huge smile on his face.

Rebekkah beamed at him, “Thanks for sharing, Japheth. I wanted you to share when it was time foryou. There are so many gays that I just love. Robin Hood and his merry men? Definitely gay. Jonathan and David? They basically had a wedding ceremony and maybe David was bisexual, but he still said Jonathan’s love surpassed even his love of women. Alexander and Hephaestion? Alexander’s only mortal weakness was found between Hephaestion’s thighs. Jesus? I wouldn’t put it past him and his beloved disciple John. Should I go on?”

Japheth tilted his head and looked at Rebekkah anew, like he was seeing her for the very first time, “That’s quite a list. You’ve done your homework.”

Rebekkah nodded, “I love those guys. And I love you, too.”

Japheth blinked, relief washing over him as if a weight had been lifted from his chest, “You love me?”

Rebekkah laughed, “Of course, I love you, Japheth. You’re my partner in prayer, my future Gemini-winning co-co-host, and my best friend. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I just… didn’t want anything to be in the way,” Japheth smiled, finally able to breathe. “So, no more secrets?”

Rebekkah shook her head, “None. Now, let’s get to work. We have songs to shortlist by sin and then to reform, rectify, remedy, and rewrite; costumes to colour coordinate and bedazzle; and we need to sharpen our swordplay of raillery, ripostes, and repartee.”

“Yeah, we should discuss what we want to talk about, too,” Ronald suggested as he stood from where he’d sat cross-legged on the asphalt during Japheth’s coming out to Rebekkah, watching it like a Fringe Festival performance. He yawned and stretched his arms abovehis head as he rose to his full five foot three inches, “And we’ve got what? Two days? Three tops?”

Japheth grimaced, “Yeah, not a lot of time, but we’ve got our rehearsal hall in Rebekkah’s basement, my closet is already colour coordinated so we have a head start there, and we’ve got each other. And if we’re going to do this, we do it right. No half-measures. We take those sinful lyrics and…”

“Make them holy!” Rebekkah interjected, throwing her hands up like a conductor leading a heavenly choir.

Ronald chuckled, “I don’t know about holy, but we’ll make them something. Let’s just make sure we don’t get sued.”