Page 22 of Bless This Hot Mess

Rebekkah’s eyes lit up, her hands clasped together, “I have a guess!”

“Wait! Should we say it together?” Japheth suggested, his excitement palpable.

Rebekkah nodded eagerly but then beat Japheth to the punch, “Where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I in their midst!”

Ronald blinked and took a step back, “Who’s in the mist?”

“Jesus!” Rebekkah and Japheth chorused, practically bouncing with glee.

Ronald’s smile faltered, “Who?”

Japheth threw his hands up, practically vibrating with joy, “He knew! He planned this. The wit and wile of that woolly woodworker never cease to amaze me.”

Rebekkah did little calf raises on her toes and still caught up in the moment, began her interrogation, “Okay, first question, and I think I know the answer, but I don’t want to be presumptuous.”

Ronald cocked his head, “Please go ahead so this can quickly end.”

“What is keeping those shorts up because…” Rebekkah began, eyes darting to Ronald’s precariously hanging jersey shorts.

“Don’t…” Japheth cut in, mortified. “Don’t answer that.”

Ronald blinked slowly, his expression unreadable, then he scanned the court as if expecting to see a TV crew. “Am I onCandid Cameraright now? Where’s the camera?”

“I’m sorry,” Japheth interjected, stepping forward as Ronald took steps backwards. “No, there’s no hidden camera, it’s just us two crazy kids. I’m gonna cut to the chase. We’re looking for a third.”

Rebekkah nodded, “And you’ve been on our radar for a little while.”

Japheth’s eyes lit up, “We were both signed up for the1999 WWJD Not Short on Talenttalent show.”

Ronald’s face relaxed as he nodded, “Oh yeah…”

Japheth continued, “And anyway, we’ve been a duo for a long time now.”

“Years…” Rebekkah added wistfully.

Japheth gestured between them, “And we just started thinking, hey, you know what would add some spice to our life?”

“Something to balance us out,” Rebekkah chimed in.

“And keep it interesting,” Japheth said, his voice rising with enthusiasm. “It’s not that we’re boring together. We’re really good together. I want to be clear about that. But imagine, if you and I do a little number, then you and Rebekkah are riffing, and then we allcome together!”

“Pew! Pew! Pew! Fireworks, right?” Rebekkah added, her hands mimicking a jazzy explosion.

Ronald chuckled, looking mildly amused, “Okay, I’m listening.”

Rebekkah leaned in, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper and taking on a hint of her committed but unconvincing Polish accent, “We’re also very generous when playing. Like, you can take the lead sometimes.”

“Or go solo,” Japheth offered, trying to sound casual.

“And we’ll just watch,” Rebekkah finished, her eyes wide with sincerity.

Ronald raised an eyebrow, tossed the basketball back and forth once between hands and took a tentative step toward them, “You want me in your throuple?”

“Throuple, triple, lop-sided triangle,” Rebekkah rambled. “We’re actually thinking of calling ourselves Trinity.”

“I’m not big on labels,” Ronald said, rubbing his jaw, “but if I had to choose, I’d say I’m pansexual.”

Japheth shook his head slightly, an involuntary spasm of confusion rippling through him, “What?