Page 78 of In the Same Boat

‘We can’t break that up, can we?’ I say.

Nico looks at me.

‘I know that’s not what we’re trying to do now,’ I add quickly. ‘I know. I just mean… we can’t ruin this trip for them.’

His expression softens, like for a moment he forgets how to be a dick.

‘Can’t we just leave?’ he replies. ‘Leave them to it? My dad said he wanted me here but…’

His voice trails off.

‘My mum said she wouldn’t be here without me, so short of getting kicked off, I don’t know what we can do – we’re not making them feel uncomfortable.’

‘So let’s make them feel inferior,’ Nico says, a grin spreading across his face as his master plan forms. ‘There’s no way they can compete with us, if we ramp up the romance, the perfection – they’ll want us gone so we stop showing them up.’

‘What do you mean?’ I ask.

‘If my dad thinks I’m treating you better than he’s treating Chrissy it will get in his head,’ Nico says. ‘I know my dad, he’ll hate it.’

‘I don’t know if that will work on my mum…’

‘It doesn’t have to,’ Nico insists. ‘My dad will tell her he wants us gone, he wants to be alone, and if they’re comfortable enough with each other they won’t care.’

I smile. That could actually work.

‘So, how do we do both?’ I reply.

‘We make them dinner,’ he suggests. ‘Tonight, we cook together, make them something special, give them an absolute dream of an evening – all the while showing them how perfect we are.’

‘We can give off perfect vibes?’ I reply, not sure he can.

‘When you’re faking it, anything is possible,’ he insists.

I open my mouth to say something cheeky. He rolls his eyes like he was expecting it, so I keep my comments to myself.

‘I suppose that could work,’ I say. ‘Do we need some sort of boundaries, or…’

‘Of course it could work,’ he replies. ‘If I can get a platinum trophy forWar Zombies 2, I can do this.’

That means nothing to me, but I laugh.

‘And as for boundaries, I’m game for anything that will work. Your mum said you can cook, right?’

‘I mean, yeah, enough, but she was bigging me up for some reason,’ I say honestly. ‘You’re a liability in the kitchen, right?’

‘Something like that,’ he replies. ‘But we can pull this off together, can’t we? If you can sort dinner, I can make the deck romantic, we’ll make things so good they’ll be begging us to go to bed and leave them alone.’

I scrunch up my nose.

‘Yeah, I guess,’ I say eventually. ‘You really think they’ll want us gone?’

‘Isn’t it worth a shot?’ he replies. ‘And do you have anything better to do?’

‘Then let’s do it,’ I say. ‘But if that doesn’t work?’

‘I suppose, you never know, they might think we’re so in love they actually decide to step aside for us, to let us crazy kids have the place to ourselves…’

‘And then?’