Page 75 of In the Same Boat

I can see, even from out here in the water, that my mum is positively glowing. She’s wearing a white linen shirt over her swimsuit, sunglasses pushed onto her head, looking like a retired movie star. Hank is beside her in navy shorts and a polo shirt, giving big investment-banker-abroad vibes.

We’re far enough away from the yacht that we can talk, but not too far out that they can’t see us.

I’m a good swimmer, but I’ve got a sort of half rubber ring pool toy with me, whereas Nico is treading water in front of me to keep his head above the surface.

Monte Carlo looks unreal from the water. The buildings climb the hillside in imperfect layers, their windows catching the sun.

‘We need to up our game,’ I blurt, safe in the knowledge no one can hear us.

‘You said that already.’

‘Yes, well, we have new information now,’ I point out. ‘They’re not put off by us playing at being a couple. They find it sweet – in fact, they’re encouraging it. We need to pivot, to make them uncomfortable.’

‘Define uncomfortable…’

‘Like deeply, physically uncomfortable with us being here, to the point where they want us to go…’

‘So…?’

‘So we get physical.’

His eyebrows shoot up.

‘Not like that,’ I say quickly. ‘I meant the performance. We make the fake relationship more… overt.’

‘Overt…’

He looks like he finds the whole thing hilarious. Presumably because it’s silly and not because he thinks me and him getting it on is a hilarious concept.

He looks towards Mum and Hank, who are currently laughing at something. Mum has one hand on Hank’s forearm now. He’s gazing back at her…

‘They’re so happy,’ he points out.

‘And we’re so miserable,’ I reply. ‘So let’s make it weird, so we can go home.’

They’re almost too happy. Hank gestures wildly as he talks, and Mum’s smile stays firmly in place even when she looks away. He leans down to say something quieter, and she laughs again. It seems like they’re flirting…

It makes me feel, I don’t know, kind of sad, kind of hopeful – I don’t want this to end badly for my mum, but I really, really don’t want to be here.

‘So… you want me to get handsy with you?’ he checks.

I splash him.

‘No, I don’t want you to,’ I say firmly. ‘But… I maybe need you to. For the plan.’

‘Any excuse,’ he says, swimming a little closer. ‘So… do you want to take the lead?’

I move my body up against his, hooking my arms around his neck. With my inflatable, we both just bounce there, our bodies intertwined, my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist – probably not necessary, they can’t see under the water, but it makes it easier to hold position.

‘Okay,’ Nico says. ‘Sexy and convincing enough for you?’

‘I’m sure it looks convincing from a distance,’ I reply.

That’s all I’m willing to say but, if I’m being honest, it feels convincing.

If I can pretend for a second that this isn’t Nico I’m connected at the crotch with, if I tell myself it’s just a man, maybe one I actually want – let’s shoot for the moon – Jake Gyllenhaal, or someone, then just between us, it’s been a long time since I was this intimate with a man, and there’s a lot to like about it.

He glances towards the yacht, where Mum and Hank are sitting, definitely watching us while pretending not to.