Page 46 of In the Same Boat

Mum and Hank chat, clearly determined to create a warm, easy atmosphere. Unfortunately, all they seem to be talking about is me or Nico.

‘Sammie has always been clever,’ Mum says, like she’s recommending me for a job.

I close my eyes briefly, exhaling through my nose, hoping she runs out of things to say about me as quickly as possible.

‘So clever…’

‘Mum.’

‘What? You are,’ she replies.

Hank turns to me with interest.

‘Chrissy says you’re an engineer.’

I nod.

‘What kind?’

‘Civil,’ I tell him. ‘Water, specifically.’

‘Very impressive,’ Hank says. ‘So you’re the reason we have clean water.’

‘She is,’ Mum adds. ‘She’s brilliant. She works so hard. Does all sorts of important things with infrastructure and planning and?—’

‘Okay, Mum, let’s not bore them,’ I interrupt her.

‘—and she’s always been like that, so focused, so determined.’

‘Isn’t that impressive, Nico?’ Hank prompts his son.

Nico leans back slightly.

‘So you basically work in sewage,’ he says.

He says it with a cheeky little smile, like he knows exactly what he’s doing and is just interested in seeing how quickly I’ll rise to it.

Immediately, as it turns out.

‘Not literally, no,’ I reply.

‘Who knew people were purposefully getting into sewage,’ he continues.

‘She’s got two degrees,’ Mum chimes in, not quite getting the ‘joke’ Nico is making.

‘You need degrees to get into sewage?’ he continues.

Hank gives his son a kick under the table. I think it was supposed to be subtle, but isn’t at all.

‘Video games are Nico’s thing,’ Hank replies. ‘You do well with them, don’t you, son?’

Ah, yes, Hank said Nico sold video games. I can’t resist asking…

‘How many degrees do you need to do that?’ I ask.

‘None,’ he says. ‘Saved myself a ton of debt.’

Ugh, it’s like I’m incapable of one-upping him.