Page 4 of In the Same Boat

I start clearing the plates from the table, bringing them in and placing them in the dishwasher. Of course Mum takes them back out and pre-washes them, then places them inside the dishwasher in a way that she believes is correct.

She means well. She means well. She means well.

‘Don’t look so worried,’ she tells me. ‘I’m sure he’ll call.’

I mean, he would probably WhatsApp me, because it’s 2026, but that’s by the by. I saw that look in his eye. There’s no way he’s going to get in touch.

I return to the dining room to blow out the candles. It was all going so well until it wasn’t. Well, you know what, forget him. I know, having my mum turn up isn’t ideal, but she’s my mum and she’s living here. If that puts him off, well, then I feel sorry for his mum.

It’s just… it was going so well… and… ugh. It’s over now. No big argument. No disastrous dinner. Just… over.

My mum has done so much for me over the years. If she needs a place to stay, then my door is always open.

But in the meantime, it means closing the door on my love life.

2

NICO

I don’t usually come to places like this.

Not that there’s anything wrong with this bar, or this part of the city, it’s just not one of my typical haunts.

I’ll usually go for drinks near work. There are three or four bars there, where my mates and I like to go. They are barely distinguishable from one another – the bars, not my mates – but they’re more our scene, and I always know exactly what I’m going to get.

I know the lighting, the kind of music they play, the drinks they serve. It’s more of a chilled-out vibe, better for social drinking and chatting. Here the lights are low, the music is blaring – I know, I’m only thirty-four, and I feel ancient admitting it, but I don’t think I’ve heard one song that I recognise yet. Thankfully, there’s no one checking if you’re cool enough to be here at the door, asking you if you can name the song that is playing, kicking you out if you can’t.

‘Maybe we should go somewhere else,’ I suggest.

‘No, I like it here – it has a fun vibe.’

I was worried he’d say that. It’s strange to be out, just the two of us. I’m used to the strength in numbers of a bigger group.

I glance around, checking out ‘the vibe’. Beyond the loud music and the kind of lighting designed for making bad decisions, it seems like the kind of place where someone is definitely going to spill a drink on me before the night is over. The sort of bar where people will scream at you for having the audacity to take a leak in the ‘cocaine snorting room’ – as though I’m the one confusing the use of the toilets.

I sound boring but I’m not. I love a night out with the lads usually… just not in these circumstances.

We’re standing near the bar, waiting to be served, but not having much luck catching anyone’s attention. Another reason to hate the place. The Loft, it’s called, despite being on the ground floor. Yeah, okay, maybe I’m trying to find fault now. Truthfully, the venue isn’t really the reason I don’t want to be here.

‘You need to loosen up,’ he says, nudging me with his elbow. ‘You’ve got that face on again.’

‘What face?’

‘The one that says: I am judging this place and everyone in it.’

‘I’m just looking around,’ I say, holding up my hands, as though that somehow shows my innocence. ‘I’m just… observing the nightlife.’

‘Suddenly he’s David Attenborough,’ he jokes. ‘Observing – pah. You know that at some point you have to actually participate, don’t you?’

‘I’m here, aren’t I? That’s participating,’ I insist.

‘Well, if you could let your face know that you’re happy about it – or at least pretend to look a little more cheery,’ he suggests. ‘You’re supposed to be here to attract women, not scare them away.’

‘And here’s me thinking you wanted to spend time together,’ I say, sticking out my bottom lip, clutching my chest, pretending to be wounded.

He was honest, at least, about using me as some kind of bait to try to attract women. I think he used the words ‘babe bait’ but I could happily never hear them again. All the more reason for me to suggest we don’t go somewhere where I usually go, or where I ever plan to go again.

We finally order our drinks – two beers – and move slightly away from the bar, to somewhere a little less chaotic. I would have had a cocktail, but I’m certain he would have had something to say about that, so beer it is.