Page 165 of In Violent Waves

“Oh, that’s moronic, and you know it.” He crossed his arms.

She couldn’t believe her ears. He had the audacity to think she wasn’t a victim in her circumstances. The male who kidnapped her!

“We both know with a tug on that thread of magic in you—you could change everything.”

Lyra’s mouth snapped shut.

“You have power—limitless power—and you choose to do nothing. Gods, Legs, you could command the plants to grow, the wind to blow, and the moon to rise, and it would happen. With a snap of your fingers, the atrocities committed against your own kind would cease to exist. So don’t lecture me on my privilege.”

Lyra shook her head, her eyes lined with tears. “It’s not that simple,” she whispered.

“Then enlighten me.”

“If I use it—I will never stop. It will corrupt me and twist me into something that not even your worst nightmares could depict. Something as simple as commanding it not to rain. What if that makes a plant die, and the animal that needed that plant will now die, and the predator that would eat that animal might starve? I could disrupt entire ecosystems!” Wilder scoffed. “But you want to know why I won’t even the score between my kind? The last time I truly used it, a male was killed. And it was all my fault!”

Wilder blinked.

He opened his mouth and then shut it. If she weren’t afraid of what she had admitted, it would be comical seeing him gape like a fish.

“How?”

Tears of rage stung her eyes. “I don’t know. I was a child myself. I just remember he wouldn’t get off me—he wouldn’tlisten—and then darkness. When I came to, he was dead, and my father was dragging me to that sea witch. I never touched it again. No matter how bad it got. I couldn’t be trusted.”

“So you’d rather let the males unleash horrors … and not even try to stop it? I hadn’t pegged you as a coward, Legs.”

Lyra swallowed and turned away from him. “I’m not a coward. I just refuse to be a murderer,” she muttered.

Peering out the window, the rolling hills gave way to the thicket, and a shadow blanketed their journey. A cloud overhead descended. Rain was on its way.

She could feel his eyes on her, prodding and questioning, but she didn’t have it in her to speak any longer. He wouldn’t understand.

No one would ever understand the burden she carried and the endless responsibility that was imminent the moment she began using her magic.

The rocking sway of the carriage, coupled with the darkening sky, had Lyra sinking further into the plush cushion of the seat and leaning her head back.

She didn’t even try to keep her eyes open as sleep tugged her under and her breath slipped out in a slow and steady rhythm.

She believed her magic was murder. That’s why she had never touched it.

Sure, there was always a fear, but to have the power to change the world for the better and not even try to learn how to? That was something he couldn’t fathom.

He watched as she slipped into a fitful slumber and whistled to halt the carriage.

The magic responded, and the carriage slowed. Maelys, Otto, and Ridge halted and looked back at him. Cyrus, Dust, and Oak approached the carriage and then stopped by the door.

“She’s asleep. Cyrus, take yourorderedposition. I want my horse back.”

Cyrus’ nostrils flared, and Wilder primed for a fight. This was what he had been hoping for.

There was a storm brewing inside of him, and without the ability to take it out on Lyra, the ill-tempered guard was the next best thing.

But in a move that ripped the wind from Wilder’s sails, the guard nodded and slipped off the horse.

They switched places, and as Wilder swung up onto the black stallion, Maelys watched.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“He was ordered by the king to be on carriage duty. And I can’t take one more moment stuck in there with her.” Wilder shook his head and rode up beside Maelys. “I just don’t understand her sometimes.”