Page 54 of Villains Never Die

“A minor inconvenience. I don’t really need the money, I just need to make an example of him so this doesn’t happen again.”

“That’s the fucking worst,” he said. “Payback only has two sides. Either you catch them, they crumble immediately, and you miss out on the high, or they think they’re tough shit and try to hold out, but by the time you end up breaking them, you’re fucking exhausted.”

“The high?”

“Yeah, you know…you beat information out of someone, you get that adrenaline rush,” he said, but I only stared blankly back at him. “No? Maybe it’s a fighter thing. You don’t feel anything?”

I shook my head. “Annoyance maybe. Honestly, I don’t feel much of anything most of the time.”

I’d never said it out loud. I got pissed off when work was inconvenient. I often thirsted for revenge, primarily on Death. The rest of the time? I was numb, running on autopilot the same way my business did. That feeling of monotony sank into my bones again, but this time it hollowed out something too, or maybe filled a space that was already empty.

“That’s not healthy,” he said, sliding his hand down my forearm to lace our fingers together.

“People are telling me that a lot lately.” I hesitated. “That thing I was looking for? I think I’m close to finding it. Maybe then I can have a life again.”

A real one with anything in it that actually mattered, not the extra ones I ran through.

“You should. Anyway, I'd better go. It’s almost midnight.” He moved to pull his hand away, and I squeezed his fingers between mine, my grip tightening like I needed to hold on to him, as if his fingers were preventing me from slipping into those hollow spaces inside me and getting lost.

“You could stay.” I barely heard myself, but he did. His thumb rubbed over the inside of my wrist again. A decision crossed his face, making it hard, then softening his features. He tugged on my hand, guiding me toward the bedroom and kissing me as we crossed the threshold. He unbuttoned my shirt, and I didn’t chastise him for the way he tossed it aside. I grasped the hem of his t-shirt and tugged it over his head, my fingers skimming his ribs. We removed our own pants and underwear, and when I reached for his half-hard cock, he stopped me.

“Go lie down,” he said. “Just sleep.”

I didn’t know what to do with that. So far, our encounters had been either near-deadly or transactional. We both got off. All wasn’t right in the world, but it was predictable.

I had never felt as uncertain as I did climbing into cool sheets next to Rook, one of his arms slung over my waist. He yanked me closer with a possessiveness bordering on violent, then relaxed next to me, completely at ease, as if all the suffering we’d caused each other had been wiped away.

“Close your eyes.” His were shut, but somehow he knew mine weren’t. He stroked his fingers up and down my spine, dipping close to my backside and then trailing back up to my shoulders. The movement soothed all the tension in my body until I suddenly felt heavy against the mattress, and all the little details of him invaded my senses. The weight of his forearm. The citrus scent. The even rhythm of his breath. My eyelids drooped until it was just him and me breathing slowly in the dark.

“Why are you doing this?” I whispered, resisting the spell he’d cast that had nothing to do with magic.

I didn’t clarify what I meant, but he understood. “The nice answer or the selfish one?”

“You choose.” I thought about peeking at his face, but as his hand continued to travel my vertebrae, I couldn’t find the strength to open my eyes.

“The selfish answer is that I don’t let people get close enough to touch me—physically or otherwise—not for a long time, and it’s fucking addictive.”

“So you chose to get addicted to the person who tried to kill you?”

His shrug vibrated through his arm. “Addiction isn’t usually a choice, and I tried to kill you first.”

“Mental,” I scoffed. “And the nice answer?”

“I think you need someone to touch you too.”

I let that settle, uncomfortable, but quickly soothed by his fingers that hadn’t stopped dancing.

“I’m a charity case then?”

“I don’t know what the fuck you are,” he said softly. “I just know I don’t want to stop.”

Chapter Nineteen

“Come by the club tonight. I have a surprise for you,” he said when he called two days later. He’d been gone by the time I woke to my phone ringing and Gray wondering where the fuck I was atnoon. Naked in my bed, sheets twisted and still warm. Rook had slipped out in the daylight and left me to bask in the best sleep I’d had in years.

“What kind of surprise?” I asked.

“The kind that makes your life easier. Fights end around one, if you want to come after.”