Page 113 of Villains Never Die

“I know.”

My heart raged in my chest, pounding so hard I could hear blood in my ears, so hard it made me sick. He knew. Of course he knew. And what did that get me? Nothing. Nothing real. Not a promise.

“No, you don’t! I had one fucking chance and I didn’t kill her because I love you. I love you. I love you!”

He stumbled back a step as I advanced toward him and slammed him against the wall of the nearest building. I held him there with one forearm pressed against his throat. He could have fought me off, but he stayed anyway, waiting for whatever fury was inside me. Took it without question.

“Say it back!” I demanded.

His eyes widened. “That’s why you’re so pissed? You let Death get away because of me and I won’t tell you I love you?”

“I’m pissed because I know it’s not one-sided, and I gave upeverythingI worked for, and you won’t fucking say it!”

“Did you give up everything?” he asked, easing against the bricks like I hadn’t pushed him there, crossing his arms. “What happens now?”

I wanted to crack that calm demeanor, that absolute lack of reaction to the way my blood boiled at the sight of him. I gripped the front of his shirt, but he didn’t flinch. He smiled that lazy, baiting smile he wore so well.

“Say it.”

“I’ll tell you what happens now,” he said. “You run your business, I run mine, and you keep chasing Death because you don’t know what else to do with your life. Do you know what happens when you try to smother an obsession? It comes back stronger. You have nothing else, and you won’t let yourself have more than that. You love revenge, not me.”

“That’s bullshit! I can have both.”

“I’m telling you that you can’t.” He swiped aside the hand that was fisted in his shirt and smacked his palm into the center of my chest. “You want me to say it? Okay. I love you, Austin. I love you so much it consumes every fucking thought. I love you so much that you were the last thing I thought about while I was bleeding out on the street! You want to be pissed off? Be pissed at yourself for only giving me part of you.”

My breath came sharply, then caught. He stared at me like he had a long time ago, like we were practically strangers, and I might have thought he was lying about loving me if the look in his eyes wasn’t so cracked and devastated. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

“It means I’m not going to be shoved in a drawer to take out whenever you don’t have more important things to think about. You want my love, then fucking earn it. But you won’t because you love power and obsession a hell of a lot more than you do me.”

I gritted my teeth and the small distance between us gaped like a mouth about to swallow me. “That’s not true.”

He shrugged and smirked at me, a look that made my cold insides seethe. “Okay. Give it up. You stop sticking your fingers into every corner of this city, you stop chasing Death, I’ll sell the club, and we’ll run off into the sunset.”

“You’re being ridiculous.” What was even happening between us right now? We should be celebrating the fact that he was alive.I could deal with my feelings about Death later, preferably in the quiet, in his arms, in my bed. We shouldn’t be fighting like this.

“And that’s why you can’t have me.” He turned to leave and I grasped his elbow.

“Where the hell are you going?” I asked.

“Home.”

“Are you…breaking up with me after I just saved your life?”

“Youchoseto save my life, so if you’re planning to blame me for your impending identity crisis, fuck off.” He pulled away from me and sauntered down the street.

“Don’t walk away from me!” My anger burned through me like acid, and any happy emotion I had left seeped through the holes it left behind. “Rook. Carter! Don’t fucking leave!”

He stopped and I could see the huge sigh he heaved. “You know where to find me when you decide you actually want me,” he said with one last glance. “See you around, England.”

I watched him disappear, my legs unwilling to move me toward him or away from him. If I stayed here, I could convince myself that I was a compass, and that the needle still pointed to him. I could stay on course.

He’ll be back.One of them piped up when I’d stayed there too long.

“He won’t.” I finally moved one foot, then the other, turning to go in the opposite direction. There was no point in following him.

He loves you. He won’t let you go that easily.

Are you okay?