Page 68 of Just One Spark

Rowan walked into the kitchen along with Boone, Callum, and Hunter.He grinned when he saw me."How's your mother doing?"

I smiled up at him as he crossed the room and kissed me on the lips.It was brief, but it was in front of his mother and sister."She's doing good."

"You should invite her next year," Judy said.

I brought my attention back to Judy."Thanks for the offer, but this is a lot for her.She keeps mainly to herself these days."

Judy nodded."I should go over and visit with her sometime."

I should have told her not to do that.But I had a feeling it might actually be good for Mom to have a friend."I think she'd like that."

Rowan put his arm over my shoulders, pulling me into his side."Have you eaten yet?"

Judy shook her head."We were waiting for you."

Rowan patted his stomach."I'm starved."

"Of course you are.You never stop eating," Judy grumbled.

I had a feeling she enjoyed these get-togethers and loved seeing her family happy.That any grumbling was pure teasing.She loved her family.

I felt like an imposter for being here.But it was only one holiday.I just had to get through a few hours.Then I could be with Rowan.

He leaned down."The brewery's ready for us."

"What did you do?"I asked, not sure if he'd planned to have dessert and exchange presents in front of the fire or something else.There was the rooftop view, which I loved last week.But it was colder today.

He smiled."You'll have to wait and see."

I sensed that Judy was watching us carefully, probably looking for confirmation that we were in love.We were just good actors because Rowan hadn't given me any indication that things had changed for him.He was still buried in work and focused on the brewery.He didn't have time for a relationship.

He certainly hadn't fallen in love with me.What we'd shared was purely physical.I had to keep reminding myself of that reality, because the alternative story, that he'd fallen in love with me, was ridiculous.

"You have plans at the brewery tonight?"Judy asked.

He put his arm around me."I planned something special for my girl.She's been so patient and supportive while I focused on the brewery.She deserves it."

His words were sweet, and I wanted to wrap myself in them as if they were a warm blanket.But none of this was real.It was an act.Sure, we'd enjoy our evening together, but it would end in sex.And there would be no emotions involved.

I would keep telling myself that until I believed it.The brewery was opening next week, and our relationship would be over.No more family dinners or holiday get togethers.No more offers to spend time with my mother.No more connection or togetherness.I would be alone again.Just how I liked it.

Unfortunately, it didn't sound as attractive as it once had.At the apartment, I was lonely.I didn't feel safe there.Not like I did at Rowan's.

Over the years, I'd isolated myself from the possibility of having more friends.I turned down social gatherings because I was worried about getting too attached to people.I thought it wasn't worth the disappointment.But I could see now that I was missing out on family, connection, and love.

My heart ached from the thought of what we'd have to do next week.Rowan wouldn't even notice a change because he'd always had those things.I had nothing to offer.Whereas he'd invited me into his world.

We sat at the table and passed the food around.There was laughter and teasing.They talked about work too, but Judy kept it to a minimum.I was impressed by the amount of love in the room.

I soaked it all in because I wasn't sure when I'd get to experience something like this again.

21

Rowan

Ilove spending time with my family, but today, I wanted to be alone with Hattie.I wanted to spend my free time with her.

After dessert, we played a few games, and then I said we had plans.My brothers teased me, but I tuned it out.I didn't care about anything other than what Hattie thought of me, and I was fairly sure she'd enjoy the evening I'd planned.