Page 76 of Don't Cross Mo Ellery

I’m staring at my phone, making sure it’s getting all this, when his words belatedly sink in. “Wait, say that again?”

“And I’m such afuckup, I can’t even kill myself as good as Cran,” Tond says, rubbing his nose with a paper towel until it turns red. “Always second best, that’s Tond Johnston!”

“No, back up. Cranwhat?”

“Died. Of. Botulism. That’s what the coroner’s report said. Not the car accident—botulism!”

“You can’t honestly think I’m going to buy that,” I say, abandoning subtlety and shoving my phone in his face. “Admit it to my phone! Admit you killed him!”

He lowers my phone and puts a jar of sauerkraut in my other hand.

“I’m not hungry for cabbage!” I yell. “I’m hungry for the truth!”

“No, listen, Cran made his own pickles because he said they werehealthier! I kept telling him to be careful.” He stares forlornly at the sauerkraut. “I don’t know how to run abusiness! I don’t even know how to balance a checkbook.”

“You guys still use check—”

“My only choice”—he grabs the jar back and holds up a pinch of sauerkraut like it’s chewing tobacco—“is to botulism myself too.” He swallows the sauerkraut and washes it down with cooking sherry, then hiccups. “That one almost came back up,” he says, patting his chest.

How did this get so off the rails?

Okay,think, Mo. Cran was definitely murdered. Tond said so at the funeral.

“I know you murdered your brother,” I say, pointing at him. “Because I heard youadmitit at his funeral!”

Tond puts on a thinking face and then shakes his head. “Not possible, because I didn’t murder him.”

Ugh,this guy is good. Time for a new tactic.

Benny.

“AndI know all about you and Benny,” I say. “So don’t even think about denying that.”

“Wait, who’s Benny?”

This guy’s got to be the world’s most annoying murderer. “What did I literally just say?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Tond says, rolling his eyes. “Got it. You know allaboutme and Benny.”

“You and Benny, you’re murderers in cahoots. You told him you wanted out after the Cran murder, but he wouldn’t let you out, would he? No way. He needed your money. So he told you that first you had to ‘take care of her’ and I thoughtherwasmebutherwas Claudia!”

Tond suddenly turns a greeny pale. Gotcha, turd.

“I can explain,” Tond says slowly, side-eyeing my phone. “That conversation was about, um, a transaction of a verylegalamount of money to Claud— To Ms. Alonzo. For transactional purposes. A legal real estate transaction that was 100 percent notillegal. I can’t tell youwhoI was talking to, for very official, professional reasons. But it wasn’t this Benny person. And there are no cahoots.”

“Oh sure, maybe it started that way. But then Benny got Claudia to trust him and the two of you left her that envelope of bribe money. Oh yes, I know all about that. In fact, I have the money—”

“Wait, you do?” Tond says. “Oh thankgoodness, that is honestly a huge load off.”

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m making you confess, that’s so rude!”

He puts his hands in prayer position in front of his face and bows a little at me to continue. I can’t help but see he’s in much better spirits now.

I’ve lost a little momentum. Gotta get it back.

Gotta bring the hammer downtout fuicking suite.

“But Claudia couldn’t be bought, could she? No, she wouldn’t sell her house for your big fancy parking garage. So you had Benny kill Claudia. Just like you killed. Your. Brother.”