Page 13 of Don't Cross Mo Ellery

I am really doing an excellent job of charming the residents of my new neighborhood.

The first bell rings, which means it’s almost time for the grand finale of my morning: Poodle Dude. Worse than judgy parents, mean old ladies, and death-defying children put together. It’d probably be funny if he wasn’t out here trying to run me over on the regular.

Every day, I dread the approach of 8:13 a.m. (Poodle Dude isverypunctual). Getting yelled at and nearly run over is not good for my nerves, which are not good to begin with. My chest feels tight in anticipation, so I try to breathe through it like Hannah taught me. She’s the reason I have this job, so what the heck—I might as well lean in and UPGRADE the situation. If that’s possible.

And since the G in UPGRADE is for Ground Yourself, I give it a shot.

The breathing doesn’t work, of course, but I power through anyway. I’m just wrapping up the four-part breathing, trying to calm myself, when my exhale gets caught in my throat.

Because holy shit. Forget Poodle Dude. My life may be about to change for the better.

But first, let’s back up.

So, both my new apartment and my new job are in Buffalo Park—Hannah was right about there being some cheap options up here. But Buffalo Park is in the nosebleeds of Chicago. I might as well be in Wisconsin. And the people who live here are not the quick-walking suits I’m used to. Everyone who crosses the street has either a dog or a kid. And sure, my job is at the junction of a school and a dog park, but still.

Point is, I never thought I’d see someone Iknowin my new neighborhood.

And yet, half a block away, walking toward me and scrolling on his phone, isMark Sunari.

This is a message from the universe. This is hope, in the form of a mustache (they’re back again, apparently), a patterned shirt, and cuffed pants.

This is a lifeline.

Mark is VP of Creative at Livewire, another scrappy little marketing agency in the city. We met at a networking event about seven years ago, and he was chill and smart and told me to reach out if I ever wanted to leave Kendra. We’ve crossed paths here and there, and he always remembers my name.

He hasn’t seen me. Yet.

I have to think fast.

I shove my stop sign in the bushes and make my way toward him, remembering at the last minute that I’m wearing avestyou can see fromspace.I rip it off, ball it up, and do the only thing I can think of: Shove it down the back of my skirt.

“Oh my god! Mark?” I say, trying to sound casual.

He looks up and does a double take. “...Mo Ellery?”

“Yeah!”

He blanches.

Shit. He knows about my little, erm, HR indiscretion.

That’s okay—this is part of Hannah’s UPGRADE program too. The R: wRite Your Own Story (or Someone Else Will Write It for You). Sure, the R’s sort of shoved in there, but the message is solid.

“This is so funny! Do you live around here?” I ask with lots of friendly, nonthreatening eye contact.

“No, but the, um, the guy I’m dating does,” he says, and he is literally looking around like someone might save him from me.

Time to turn up the charm. “Nice! I haven’t been here long, but I like it. New place, new me! I’m shaking things up!” Then I plaster on a confident smile and lean in, like I’m sharing a juicy secret. “You know, after my short-lived career in accidental Zoom porn.”

He laughs at this, a little cautiously, but I can tell he’s warming up, all because I broached the subject myself. Man, Hannah isgood.

I keep up the confessional tone. “It’s a very ‘lemons into lemonade’ situation. It gave me an excuse to move on, find a new challenge. Things were getting a little stale over there, you know? I’d already been thinking, ‘I wonder what cool stuff Livewire is up to these days?’?”

Boom. Operation Get Hired is officially underway.

“Sure,” he says slowly. “But, like, youdidflash the entire senior leadership team at Midwest Tool Warehouse, right?”

“Look, Mark,” I say in my best givin’-it-to-you-straight voice. “I’ll be honest. I know I’m pretty spicy property right now, but I respect what you’re doing, and I’ve got a killer portfolio featuring 300 percent increases in web traffic, 200 percent increases in newsletter subscribers, and almost 0 percent nudity.”