Page 93 of A Witch in Notting Hill

“Doesn’t matter much anyway, does it?”

“What’s that mean?”

“If the media now knows where I am and thinks I’m having an affair, it’s not like we can be running around the city together, can we? I don’t even know why they think I’m with Kit in the first place. Who knows what other false information they have, and who knows how much worse I can make it by being seen all over the city with you.”

They say when you’re at rock bottom, the only place to go is up. But no one ever says when you’re on top of the world, the only place to go is down.

The swing from the highest high to whatever this was right now was so dramatic it was hard to wrap my head around. We’d finally spent the night together, finally gave in to the buildingtension of the last several months, only to have to cut ties in the blink of an eye?

I paced the length of her bedroom, lacing my fingers behind my head and trying to steady myself.

“But why did you tell me you were seeing him in the first place?” I asked. Maybe if I had all the facts it would be easier to make sense of this.

“I thought it would make it easier to put some distance between us. It was Vera’s idea.”

“Vera . . . the cat?”

“The manager.”

“Who’s the cat?”

“Oliver.”

“Sorry. I’m just trying to understand.”

“Are you? Because from here it sounds like you’re passing judgment.”

None of this was coming out right. Or all of it was coming out exactly as I meant it and I needed to get myself in check. I was passing judgment. And if I actually cared about this woman, which I did, deeply, then I needed to lose the attitude.

“I’m sorry,” I said, sinking onto the edge of the bed beside her. “It’s just... it’s all a lot right now.” I took a deep breath and tried again. “Why, exactly, did you want to put distance between us?”

“God, how do I say this without sounding insane?” she said, mostly to herself. “Things happen with my magic when I start feeling something for someone.” She clapped her hands together, turning to face me. She meant business. And I needed to listen. “And I didn’t want either of us to have to experience that. Especially because I knew you’d try to explain those things away with logic, and I’d know they were because of my magic, and I didn’t know how we’d get past that.”

“How did you know it was going to happen?”

“Because it always happens. It started happening immediately. The light in the shop. The sparks in the subway. The pipe in the bathroom.”

“Come on, Willow. Those were just freak incidents. You can’t beat yourself up over that, can you?”

“See? This is exactly what I was afraid of. It’s easy to say that, and I’m sure from the outside that’s how it looks, but you have to trust me when I say they weren’t.”

“Then how do you explain last night?” I asked. “Nothing caught fire. Nothing exploded. Aside from the paparazzi, which hardly seems like a freak incident, nothing catastrophic has happened. And correct me if I’m wrong, but it seemed like there was a whole lot of feeling from where I stood.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Then how do you explain it?”

“I don’t know!”

Her outburst reverberated around us until it turned to silence. Even her echo sounded like it was going to cry.

“Hey,” I said, reaching out to her and trying not to wince when she pulled away.

“I don’t have answers,” she said. “I don’t know how to explain any of this. When we first met in the shop and I said I had bad genetics, this is what I was talking about. Everyone in my family is a brilliant witch, and I’m a wreck. I didn’t want to have to lie to you, but I thought it was the only way to protect either of us. To keep us from getting to this point. What a bust that was.” She rolled her eyes at herself, pulling my heartstrings in the process. I didn’t know if I was mad or frustrated or embarrassed or disappointed, but what I did know was that I hated seeing her so hard on herself.

“So I thought it would just be easier for us both if you thought I was involved with someone,” she continued, “but then when you asked me if it was serious and I had every opportunity torun with it, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So I let it slip away, but someone else must have heard something anyway because now I’m Hollywood’s newest adulterer.”

“I swear I didn’t say anything,” I said, holding my hands up.