Page 96 of Wear It Like a Crown

“Look, mate.” Nate sighed, nudging their shoulders together. “I love you to bits, all right? But remember when you called him a coward for, like, taking the easy way out, going with the status quo? For not being honest? Remember how you thought he should risk it? How it was worth it, taking a shot at something more?” He paused just long enough for Leo to catch up with the rapid-fire questions. “Practise what you preach, L. You’re my best mate, but you’re a bit of a hypocrite about this. You’re hiding from him when he’s been nothing but honest.”

A hypocrite. Joshua had called Leo just that, open disappointment woven into each syllable, but it wasn’t fuckingtrue. It wasn’t. Not when Leo was doing this for Joshua just as much as for himself.

He tensed up, shifting away. “I’m protecting him,” he said sharply. “It’s not just about… I mean, yeah, it’s bloody scary to think that if I was his boyfriend, I’d have cameras following my every step. But it’s also—more than that. If he wanted to try, with me? He could suffer for it. The media would?—”

“That’s not your call,” Nate cut into Leo’s words. “Jesus, mate. You can’t just make the decision for him. You know he’d hate that, and it’s not—I think you’re not giving him enough credit here.”

Something in Leo’s chest stuttered to a sudden halt then sped upagain, a nauseating change of pace. His stomach felt hollowed out from the inside.Not your call.

“I’m…” he began, then didn’t know how to continue.

You can’t just make the decision for him.He’d hate that.

“Leo.” Nate straightened and stepped in front of Leo, studying him with a mix of concern and disapproval. “I’m serious, yeah? The guy is in love with you, and if you let him slip away…” He shook his head, voice much lower as he added, “You deserve to be happy.”

Joshua makes me happy, Leo thought, and while he choked the words back down, he couldn’t unthink them. They resounded in his mind, got tangled up in Joshua’s, “Just happy” when Leo had asked why Joshua had been laughing that night. Fuck, Joshua had still looked happy the morning after, ambling into the kitchen naked and bright-eyed—until Leo had stamped out that happiness.

Had trampled all over it.

Maybe it had been about himself once, but this wasn’t just about him anymore. It was about Joshua. God, how had Leo believed that he was protecting him when all he’d ever done was hurt him? If Joshua didn’t want Leo after learning the truth—then at least he had given him achoice.

Nate was still talking, something about how things could absolutely work out,hey, remember we handle potential scandals for a living, but it didn’t really make it through the rush in Leo’s ears. With his heart giving a violent lurch, Leo gripped Nate’s shoulder to steady himself. “Fuck,” he whispered. “Fuck. Nate, I?—”

Nate pulled him into another hug before Leo could finish the thought.

ELEVEN

“You need to fly to Brazil.” It wasn’t quite a question, but it wasn’t quite a statement either. James’ expression didn’t give away much.

“Yes,” Leo said. He laced his hands in his lap.

“And you have to leave right now.”

“I—yes. Because I did something really stupid.” Leo unlaced his hands and crossed his legs at the ankle, then forced himself to sit still. Honestly, he was better than this; he wasn’t a pre-schooler who couldn’t keep his nerves in check. “I need to set it right. I need to… I just…” Breaking off, he gave a helpless shrug while his intestines performed a sad pirouette. The team’s current case wasn’t fully closed, so if James needed Leo here—Leo owed him that much.

A sudden smirk sparked in James’ eyes. “You need to see the Prince.”

“I need to see Joshua,” Leo corrected.

James nodded, his smirk softening. “Point taken.” He paused, leaning back in his desk chair. “All right. I’ll give you your big, romantic gesture. On one condition.”

Your big, romantic gesture.

It wasn’t like that; it really wasn’t. This wasn’t a big gesture, just a necessity—Joshua wasn’t here, and Leo needed to talk to him. Desperately so. He’d been stupid, and he’d hurt Joshua, and he needed to set itright, needed to know if there was a chance, any chance at all. He couldn’t wait two weeks for Joshua to get back, even if it meant spending a thousand pounds on a one-way flight with no idea where he’d turn if Joshua didn’t want him.

Oh. So maybe this did qualify as a big gesture.

Leo exhaled slowly, measured. “What’s the condition?”

“Take a couple weeks off.” James raised a brow. “That’s how long he’s staying, isn’t it?”

Leo sagged into himself, felt like a puppet with its strings cut. He was flying to Brazil. Wow. “Thank you,” he whispered.

With a little sigh, James shook his head. “I’ve been telling you to take a real holiday for years.”

He had. There just hadn’t been a particularly pressing need, not when Leo loved his work, not when his place was here in London. There was his Saturday gig with the kids—which he’d need to let Kylie know he wouldn’t be able to make tomorrow. Maybe Nate could fill in for him?

Also… Fuck, he’d need more than a fake ID to travel to Brazil. His was enough to withstand a cursory inspection, but certainly not enough to get him halfway across the globe.