Page 89 of Wear It Like a Crown

“I care if they rip him to shreds.” Joshua turned further into Tristan. “I’m used to it, the scrutiny and all, but he isn’t. I could never force him into that.”

“I hate this so much,” Tristan whispered. With a wet chuckle, Joshua rested his head on Tristan’s chest and closed his eyes.

“You and me both.”

Tristan didn’t reply, but his arms came back around Joshua’s shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. Relaxing into it, Joshua waited for the second-hand warmth to sink in.

* * *

Leo had dragged himself out of the shower and climbed into bed still naked and damp, hadn’t left it for the remainder of the day. He’d dreamt of shadows. Of pale skin and his hands tangled in dark curls.

On Monday, he was the first person to arrive at the office. When Carole got in half an hour later, she froze at the sight of him in the tea kitchen—the tea kitchen where Leo had argued with Joshua on that day he’d walked back into his life. Had it really been less than a month? Three weeks, God. Was that all it had taken for Joshua to turn Leo’s life upside down?

“Is it a ghost?” Carole asked, propping her hip against the doorframe. “You’ve never been here before me. Is it the apocalypse?”

“Zombies banging on the doors in T-minus five.” Leo worked hard to send her a smile that he knew would turn out crooked, far from convincing. He was proven right when she shot him a worried look.

“Scary,” was all she said, though. She nodded at the kettle. “Want me to make you a cuppa? You look like you need it.”

“I do,” Leo told her.

He didn’t offer more, and Carole didn’t ask. Because that was how they did things around here. Part of the deal.

A month ago, Leo wouldn’t have thought to question it.

With a steaming cup of tea, he retreated into his office and went to sort through his emails. Some of them were leftovers from last week, loose ends, contacting Leo about his involvement in Joshua’s coming-out. He redirected all of them to George.

Nate came in a little after nine, and he didn’t even pass by his own office before he dropped in on Leo. Planting himself in the seat in front of Leo’s desk, he leaned forward, both elbows on the tabletop and a worried crease between his brows. “Mate, you all right? I tried to reach you yesterday, you know?”

Oh. Yes, right. Now that Nate mentioned it, Leo remembered that he hadn’t charged his phone since Friday. He should probably do that. “Sorry,” he said out loud. “My battery must have died. And yeah, I’m fine.”

Nate’s eyes narrowed as he studied Leo. “You’re not.”

After a few beats, Leo looked away, tried to focus on the blinking cursor of his mouse where it hovered over his desktop wallpaper—a shot of the England national squad huddled together before a match. Right now, their defeat by Italy seemed laughably insignificant.

“I will be fine,” Leo amended, glancing back at Nate. “It’ll just take me a little while to let it go, so if I’m a bit of a dick in the near future… Sorry, yeah?”

Nate lifted his shoulders, a half-smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Nothing new there. But you haven’t actually told me what happened. When Josh came to find you on the balcony.”

“I’d rather just… not. Not think about it, you know? It won’t work, that’s really all there is to it. I want Joshua to be happy, and I’m not—that’s not me. I’m not the one who can make him happy.” Leo swallowed around the open wound in his chest. “What about you and Mo? What did I miss?”

It was obvious that Nate considered pushing for more information, but in the end he simply bumped their feet together under the desk. “He drove me home on Sunday, then stayed the day.” While his tone was casual, there was a bright, happy gleam in his eyes that made Leo breathe a little easier than he had ever since he’d left Joshua’s place on Saturday.

“I take it he also stayed the night?” he asked, and Nate grinned, soft and sweet.

“Maybe.”

In response, Leo gave Nate’s foot a light kick. Nate kicked back, then let his foot rest against Leo’s, ankles pressed together. “Hey,” hesaid, suddenly serious again. “You know that if there’s anything I can do…”

“I know,” Leo told him, and he did. He’d never been more certain of their friendship than in this very moment, and he supposed that was another thing he owed to Joshua—even if Leo couldn’t have him, his temporary presence had prompted a change for the better in Leo’s friendship with Nate.

“Okay,” Nate said. “As long as you know.”

“I do.” This time, Leo’s smile didn’t feel quite so much like a parody of itself. “But I think there’s nothing that can be done, really. I need time, that’s all.”

While Nate smiled back, he didn’t look convinced. Leo was first to look away.

Work was a blessing.