Page 70 of Wear It Like a Crown

“I’m just saying it doesn’t add up.” Tristan paused, frowning. “Doesn’t give him a right to be an arse to you, mind. Mo, what do we do with the body?”

“Eat it,” Mo said, tone perfectly flat. “Use his bones for bread.”

Tristan nodded. “I like the way you think.”

Even though Joshua’s muscles felt heavy, he made himself smile at them. “Cannibalism is not the solution, didn’t they tell you? Alcohol is. And I’ll feel better once we get out of here. On top of everything else that’s going on, it was just… a bit much.”

Without a word, Tristan got up to hug Joshua from behind, cheeks pressed together. Leaning into it, Joshua blinked away the wetness in his eyes. He wouldn’t cry. Not over Leo, and certainly not over how his private life had become a dramatic installation for all the world to see, and he was the only one missing the spectacle.

Enough of that. In fact, he’d done enough hiding for the rest of his life, hadn’t he?

He cleared his throat and tucked his toes against Mo’s instep. “Anyway, I’m done with this. I should have known better and didn’t, and that’s that. Can we talk about something more fun? Like Mo’s date with Nate?”

There was a stretch of silence, Mo studying Joshua’s face whileTristan held on. Then Tristan straightened, Mo’s expression relaxed and Joshua could breathe just a little easier.

“Not sure it was a date,” Mo said. “We just walked and talked, you know? Was nice, though. He’s sweet.” A pause, then he snorted. “Fuck, I have no idea what I’m doing.”

On the way back to his chair, Tristan clapped Mo on the shoulder. “You’ll figure it out. Insert part A into slot B?—”

“Piss off,” Mo told him.

Joshua’s grin felt like a foreign entity, not quite fitting onto his face. Stubbornly, he clung to it. “Cool, okay. I guess I’ll have to live vicariously through you guys. Since this relationship thing isn’t really working out for me.”

“One prick doesn’t make a…” Tristan trailed off and pursed his lips. “Well, fuck. I was going for some variation of ‘one swallow doesn’t make a summer’, but all I can think of now is a pack of arseholes. Not a pretty sight.”

“Says you,” Mo put in. “Also, mate, that saying doesn’t even make sense in this context. There’s no flocks here, just the one twat.”

“Which,” Tristan said, “means it’s no summer, because it’s just one swallow. Makes perfect sense. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Joshua had watched their exchange with distant amusement, not quite enough to brighten his thoughts, last night’s memories too fresh. Tomorrow would be different, though. Glancing down at his plate, he found his appetite diminish even more.

“Hey, Mo?” he asked. “Do you ever feel like Nate is holding back?”

Mo’s reply came with a delay, his brows drawing together. “Yeah. Don’t know much about his past, really. Just told me that if you’re with James, it pretty much means you got a second chance. Like a clean slate or something. Didn’t want to push him too much.”

A second chance—just like what Leo hoped to achieve for those kids. Was it an attempt to recompense for his own fortune, paying back the favour? There was no doubt Leo was hidingsomething. How bad was it, though? Bad enough that he couldn’t face the public scrutiny that was intrinsically tied to Joshua’s life and affected anyone who got too close?

All Joshua had were fragmented pieces of a puzzle. Was Leo worththe effort of trying to piece them together? Did he even deserve it, when he’d pushed Joshua away?

It would never work.

Joshua found it hard to remember Leo’s precise words. The thing he’d said about his teenage crush—had Joshua jumped to conclusions? He’d been quick to accuse Leo of acting out some fantasy of the past, and Leo hadn’t corrected him. But did that mean it was true? Why had Leo stolen Joshua’s shirt if he didn’t care at all?

God. Joshua’s head was a mess.

He must have blanked out of the conversation for a moment, because when he focused back on the present, Mo was telling Tristan that no, he was not a coward for refusing to invite Nate along on their trip today when Nate wasworking.

“Well, he won’t be working tomorrow, right? At least not the full day. It’s the weekend.” Tristan lifted his brows. “So invite him over for the England match.”

“Ed’s coming, too,” Joshua said. A moment later he didn’t know why he’d considered it relevant to the discussion; as far as he was aware, Nate had no particular interest in Ed. It was Leo who’d sat up straighter each time Ed’s name had come up, although he’d never asked.

“Ed is in town? Awesome.” Tristan speared a piece of tomato and waved it in the air. “Wanted to ask him for input about my new guitar, should keep me entertained if the English squad doesn’t do its job.”

“Excuseyou,” Joshua told him primly. “The Three Lions are a national institution, and I will not have you sully them on my watch. Just because you insist on supporting Scotland for nostalgic reasons…”

Under the table, Tristan kicked him, and Joshua kicked back. He told himself this was just like any other day, but somehow, he could still feel the ghost of Leo’s hands on his skin. He hated it.Hatedit.

There was a strange, sickening weight in Joshua’s stomach, as though his intestines had shrivelled up into a tightly compressed ball.