Page 56 of Wear It Like a Crown

It wasn’t in his power.

The moment the interview was over, Tristan shoved away from the wall and was the first person to wrap himself bodily around Joshua, smothering him in an embrace. Joshua sagged into it. Over Tristan’s shoulder, he found Leo’s gaze. Joshua’s smile was all in his eyes, a warm gleam that made Leo’s heart perform a drunken lurch. He grinned through it, gave Joshua a thumbs-up.

Tristan released Joshua to make room for Emma, and then Joshua was suddenly swarmed by people, like moths to a flame. Everyone wanted a piece of him.

Leo snuck out of the room without catching Joshua’s eye again. He pulled out his phone to send him a quick message.

You did fantastic!! I have to take care of some stuff at the office, see you tonight for the broadcast?

He left the Palace without looking back. He felt like someone fleeing the scene of a crime.

SEVEN

Leo spent the next few hours buried in work, finalising things. Carole and George had joined forces to select wholesome pictures of Joshua that went with the I-want-to-be-married-with-kids narrative, complementing pre-written articles that would be distributed as soon as the interview aired. Online portals in particular would gratefully gobble them up—anything for a speedy release.

Controlling the first wave was key to smoothing the entire ride.

At six, Leo shut down his computer. While he felt vaguely guilty about leaving the rest of the team to field the immediate aftermath, he and Nate had promised Joshua they’d be with him. Handling the client was part of the job, wasn’t it? Sure was. Even if their main task consisted of keeping Joshua away from the unfiltered fallout by distracting him.

They rode the tube in silence, Nate fiddling with his phone and Leo staring blankly at an advert for an Open University course.Uncover your potential. Surrounded by tourists, they got off at Camden Town, emerged into a grey evening and walked the rest of the way to Joshua’s flat, Leo with his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans.

“You nervous?” Nate asked, just before they rang the bell.

“It’s not my future that’s at stake,” Leo told him.

“No. But you care about him.” Nate’s tone was unassuming, andLeo didn’t bother with an answer. Of course he cared. More than he should.

He pressed down on the doorbell, released it, then rang again, just to be a git. Normal, right. This was just like any normal day, nothing out of the ordinary. After watching the interview there’d be beer, there’d be football talk, there’d be teasing and video games. Just a normal lads night.

The door buzzed open to let them in. With a deep breath, Leo led the way up the stairs.

They watched the interview in utter stillness—no one moved, no one spoke. At times, Leo wasn’t convinced he knew how to breathe. Next to him on the sofa, Joshua was frozen, not so much as a twitch of a muscle.

After Tristan had flicked the TV off and plunged the room into silence, Leo counted to ten in his head before he turned to look at Joshua. Face pale, Joshua’s skin was damp with sweat, his pupils so wide they reduced his irises to slim rings of green. When Leo nudged their fingers together, Joshua jolted.

“I’m fine,” he squeezed out.

Yeah. Nice try.

Leo bit the inside of his cheek and nodded. “Let’s play some FIFA, all right? Have another beer, order pizza.”

“I’d like that,” Joshua said, barely audible, and Leo longed to touch him, run gentle fingers through his hair until the tension in his muscles evaporated. By the time Leo dragged his gaze away, Tristan was already on the phone to order food and Nate had jumped up to fetch another round of beer. Mo had curled further into Joshua’s other side, his head tipped against Joshua’s shoulder.

Just a normal evening, yes. They’d try.

They did try. It was a valiant effort to project normalcy. Except Leo’s stomach felt sick with unease each time he received an update on his phone that he checked as subtly as he could; except for the weighted glances they exchanged behind Joshua’s back and the way they all orbited around him, hugging him at random, petting his hair, slinging an arm around his waist or squeezing his hand. Leo shouldn’t let himself get this close, but Joshua seemed so small and fragile even as he tried to put on a brave front. The need to reassure him overrode Leo’s sense of self-preservation.

Once in a while, Leo could feel Joshua staring at him for several beats too long, a question in his eyes. Because Leo was a coward, he was quick to look away, and he also made sure that he wouldn’t find himself alone with Joshua.

He wanted to kiss Joshua so badly that his throat ached with it. But that didn’t make it a good idea.

Maybe, if they kissed once, justonce, to satisfy the current of tension running between them… They’d kiss, and it would be nice, but nothing more than that. They’d separate, would grin at each other with a hint of bashful embarrassment, and Leo would say, “Friends?” with a chuckle that Joshua would echo.

One kiss. One tiny, little kiss, and Leo would realise that he wasn’t in love.Surely.

It was just after eleven when Tristan called it a night. After tackling Joshua to the floor, then uttering a hurried goodbye, he dashed out the door, late in picking up his girlfriend from the airport. Shortly after, Leo clambered to his feet as well, legs numb from being crouched in front of the TV for half an hour, battling it out with Nate.

“Let’s call it a draw,” Leo declared, and Nate frowned up at him.