Page 104 of Wear It Like a Crown

“I’m completely in love with you.” Joshua didn’t look away. While his voice was even, his palm was a little sweaty against Leo’s, betrayinghis nerves. “And yes, it does bother me that those guys got to touch you. But mostly because they didn’t deserve it.”

Everything was blurry, swimming in front of Leo’s eyes. “Well, they did pay.”

“They didn’t care for you,” Joshua said roughly. “So no, they did not deserve it.Leo.” He reached out with his free hand, thumb brushing the skin under Leo’s left eye, and only then did Leo realise he was fighting tears.

Joshua knew.

Joshua knew, and he was still here, was watching Leo with the same warmth as before.

Without thought, Leo stumbled into him, brought both arms up around Joshua’s back to pull him in as close as possible and hold on.I’m completely in love with you.The words threaded themselves through every thought that spun through Leo’s brain, and he shut his eyes and struggled to breathe. Joshua was clinging back just as tightly.

“It’s such a tiny part of you,” he murmured, lips brushing Leo’s cheek. “I hate that you went through it, but it’s not—you can’t let it hold you back. Don’t let it define you. Don’t let it… I want to be with you. So if you want?—”

“How are you so bloody wonderful?” Leo interrupted. Blindly, he turned his head to find Joshua’s mouth and draw him into a kiss that tasted like tea and salt, tinged with exhaustion. Another. Leo’s body went weak with it, and it felt as though Joshua was the one thing holding him up.

Fuck, Leo needed to pull himself together. If this was supposed to work… If this was supposed to work, then Leo couldn’t be a blubbering mess. They’d need to hold each other up, and he couldn’t do that if he could barely walk straight.

I want to be with you.

He slowed the pace of their kisses, eased them up until it was just gentle, light brushes of their mouths. It was still enough to send heat spiralling down his spine, one of his hands fisted into the back of Joshua’s shirt, fabric bunched up in his grip. Jesus. He’d thought he’d lost this. How had he convinced himself to let Joshua go without so muchas a fight?

Bringing just enough space between them to focus on Joshua’s face, Leo watched the way his lashes trembled, lids fluttering open. So beautiful. God, he was so fuckingbeautiful.

“You’re so beautiful,” Leo blurted, then shook his head to clear it. “But you get why this is—why my past is complicated. If the media finds out, it would be chaos.”

Joshua blinked, then his eyes cleared. “I want you in my life. And if you’re not ready to be with me in public?—”

“I’m ready,” Leo cut in. “You’re the one whose reputation is at stake, Joshua. This is your risk, not mine. Me, I’m just a nobody.”

“You’re not a nobody to me. And”—Joshua’s jaw clenched—“I don’t fucking care. Let them talk.”

Leo kept his fingers twisted into Joshua’s shirt, knuckles digging in. He met the petulant defiance that had crept into Joshua’s expression with what he hoped passed for a smile, his stomach too heavy. “You don’t mean that.”

“Well.” Joshua sounded reluctant. “I do care a little, yes, but not about opinions. If strangers want to hate me, that doesn’t hurt me. I just don’t want it to harm my family, or the country. But maybe…” He hesitated. “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? We don’t have to tell the whole truth, right? It’s not like you owe the public anything, certainly not your past.”

“You don’t owe them either.”

“But I have a certain kind of duty to set an example.”

Leo wanted to kiss him and never stop. “Which might be a problem if you date me. It’s a risk.”

For a moment, it looked as though Joshua would protest out of principle. Then he sighed, shoulders slumping. He hooked one hand in a belt loop of Leo’s jeans, tugging him close again, close enough for all features to blur. His voice was low, yet firm. “I know it’s a risk. For both of us. But I think we’re worth it. Right?”

“Right,” Leo whispered. There was so much more he needed to tell Joshua, a rush of words that clamoured for attention in his mind—that Joshua was lovely; that he made Leo want to be better and braver; that up until Joshua, Leo hadn’t ever seen himself with anyone by his side. That he’d never wanted anyone like this, neverlovedanyone like this.

He settled for winding his fingers into Joshua’s hair and dragging him in for another kiss. Joshua’s mouth was already open, and Leo let his lids drift shut, let himself believe.

“We need to plan this,” he squeezed into the gap between one kiss and the next. A moment later, he tugged on the buttons of Joshua’s shirt, tried to fumble them open and made a disgruntled noise when they wouldn’t cooperate.

“I want you inside,” was Joshua’s mumbled response. Then he stilled, suddenly tense. “I mean, if that’s?—”

“Yes,” Leo interrupted, “yes, come on,” and gave a sharp pull that had both of them stumble towards the bed. He felt almost disoriented with the brightness that filled the room, with Joshua’s body pressed close, with all the things he wanted to do to him.

Joshua went down first. He landed on his back, bouncing on the mattress, and Leo crawled after him, straddling his hips so he could attack the buttons of Joshua’s shirt again. Their fingers tangled over the material, held for a moment before Joshua let go, melting into the sheets as he shot Leo a brilliant smile.

“Love you. Now hurry up and get me naked.”

“So demanding,” Leo countered, but he couldn’t bite down on his answering smile. Didn’t want to. “What a royally spoilt brat.”