Page 64 of The Perfect Melody

Austin clears his throat. “Oh. Right then. I’ll just…” He scoots around so that his right leg is half tucked beneath him, his left sticking out to the side. It’s not ideal, but there’s no space between the bench and the wall, so it will have to do.

The rain almost muffles the sound of me unzipping the coat, yet you’d think it was loud enough to compete with the thunder, given the way we both react to it.

“Ready?” I ask, stepping closer.

The muscles in his broad back are tense, but he takes a breath, relaxing with his next exhale. “Go for it.”

Lightly resting my hands on his shoulders for balance, I lift my right leg, then extend it, squeezing it between Austin’s sideand the back of the bench. Next, I plonk my butt down and assess the small gap still between us. Holding the coat open wider, I use the leverage of my left foot on the ground to scoot myself forward until my thighs rest on either side of Austin’s hips. It’s a good job there are no paparazzi following me around these days because the last thing I need is anyone getting photographs of this bullshit—graceful it is not. Positioned as best I can be, I pull the edges of the coat forward and loop my arms around Austin from behind so the cold air can’t get between us. I rest my head on his back. He’s warm, even though it’s freezing, and I battle the urge to sigh at the contact.

We sit in silence until I can’t stand it any longer. “Bowman’s seems like it’s been doing well since the reopening. Are you happy?”

“Yeah.” He hesitates, then adds. “We’ve been doing even better than I anticipated, and it’s all going well.”

“But?”

“Nothing, really. I should be happy—Iamhappy—but I thought I’d feel more… fulfilled? I’ve been working towards this for so long, but now that it’s here, I still feel like I’m missing something.” He gives a self-deprecating chuckle. “God, I sound ungrateful, don’t I?”

I’m already shaking my head in disagreement before replying, “Not at all.” Guilt sits heavy in my stomach. Austin’s opening up to me—more than I ever thought he would—and I’m still hiding almost everything about my life. Maybe… maybe I can find a way to offer him something real without giving everything away.

I wet my lips, choosing my words carefully. “You’re not being ungrateful. We haven’t known each other that long, but even I can see how much work you’ve put into Bowman’s—everyone talks about how much you love the place.”

Pausing, I choose my next words carefully while looking out at the dark sky. I don’t usually spend much time out in nature but, even soaked through caught in the middle of a storm, there’s something soothing about being reminded how small I am compared to all of it. “I think that when we reach for something for a long time, it can be hard to know what to do once it’s finally in our hands. Dreams don’t always look the way we imagined once they become reality.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.” Austin’s curiosity is etched into every word.

“Yeah. I know what it’s like to have everything you want and still feel empty. It’s why I came here. I needed space to figure out what would really make me happy.”

He swallows thickly. “Have you? Figured it out, I mean?”

“I think so. Before coming here, I didn’t have many friends—not real ones, anyway. Liam and Bailey were all I had. All my other relationships were very surface level. I was lonely.”

“And now?”

After a steady exhale, a soft smile takes over my face. “Now I feel… at peace. My life here is better than anything I had the capacity to dream of.”Even if I am lying to everyone around me.

Maybe it makes me a bad person, but I know that no matter what happens when I eventually tell people the truth about who I am, I won’t regret the deception. Spending time living like everyone else and the freedom that comes with that has brought me back to life. I was an empty shell when I arrived, but thanks to my time here, I’m a better, healthier version of myself now. That won’t change even if I’m no longer welcome in Pine Grove after my secret is out.

“I have a whole circle of friends now. Having coffee with the girls on Mondays is the highlight of my week—I never thought I’d get to be part of a group like that.”

“You have me too,” he replies softly, covering my hands with his where they rest against his stomach.

“Do I?”

He shifts to look at me over his shoulder. “Yes, if you want me. I think you’ve had me since you crashed into my bar—it just took me a while to catch on and stop being stubborn about it.”

“Because you thought I’d disappear at the end of the summer?”

He smiles sheepishly. “That and being your boss. Knowing that you don’t need your job at Bowman’s makes me feel a lot better about the whole situation.”

“What situation would that be?” I ask, blinking my eyes with faux innocence.

“Don’t be cute.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Shaking his head, he turns around to face me properly, carefully capturing the sides of the coat and holding them together to keep me covered without letting his gaze stray from mine even once. “This thing between us, whatever it is. At first, I thought it was just chemistry.”

“And now?” I ask, genuinely curious.