Page 200 of Wallflower

He stumbles and I feel victorious. “You’re going down,” I taunt, wrapping my legs around his middle and planting my hands on his shoulder. I shove him back and he trips again. Unable to right himself fast enough, he crashes into the churning water, taking me with him.

I break the surface with a laugh, pushing my hair back from my eyes. Rip’s hand brushes against my thigh and I grab it, tugging his heavy form to pull him up. He moves, though only slightly, like he’s pulling against me.

What a jerk.

I yank him again.

Ripley’s serene form shatters the moon’s rippling reflection, a piece of rebar punched through his chest.

I wake with the speed of a fired bullet, the raw, soul-rending scream from that place following me into the present. It echoes its harrowing harmony around the stateroom as my hand fliesto my chest, fingers digging into the terry cloth bathrobe in an attempt to claw out the agony shredding me apart.

“Fuuuck!” I cry as a startled Chelsea emerges from the bathroom, lipstick smeared from her lip across her cheek.

“What the fuck, Rosie?” she gasps.

I scramble for breath, sweat dappled across my clammy skin. In tune with my mind, my heart fissures and fractures. “No, no, no,” I whisper, cold fingers brushing the scarlet-red hair away from my face. “Not again, not again, not again.”

How many times will I have to watch him die? Was once not enough?

“Are you okay?” my sister questions.

My eyes snap to hers, autumn’s forest clashing with the churning ocean. This new reality slams into me with a sickening crack, the ship cabin bright and quiet around me. It slowly filters out the sound of snapping bones echoing in my ears. The sharp rocks racing up to meet my falling body. The wind whipping around me as I leapt from the cliff’s rocky edge.

Looking away, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to recalibrate far too quickly.

“No,” I breathe, jostling beneath the blankets to get free.

“What’s the matter? Where are you going?”

A fierce, unbreakable resolve surges within as my feet hit the floor.

I toss the towel and bathrobe onto the bed, not giving a shit about modesty as I race to pull a sundress over my nakedness.

A smile pulls across my lips as I look to my sister once more.

“I’m going to find him…before he finds me.”