Page 62 of Heavensent & Hellbent

I slipped my phone from my skirt pocket, and as I expected, I had missed messages from Nic earlier in the day.

Nic

HELLO??

Have you checked your results yet??

You’re taking too long to respond…I’m going to London!!!

I was happy for her, but there was lead in my stomach, threatening to sink me right down into the Underworld. I typed out a reply anyway.

!!!! congratulations! I’m at work but will check when I’m home xx

I put the last of the books from the cart onto the proper shelves, then returned to the counter. The store was empty, as it often was in the morning, though we had new stock that needed to be sorted.

Then a customer came in, an older woman with graying hair and bright blue eyes. She asked Cleo if we had a specific romance novel. I went to tidy the book display by the window while Cleo searched the system for it. As I was doing so, I saw Zain walking across the road—and toward the store. I immediately ducked.

“What are you doing?” Cleo asked. I pivoted, still low, to find Cleo and the old woman watching me like I was a Martian.

WhatwasI doing?

“I dropped an earring,” I said, clutching one ear to reinforce my point, and to cover the fact that my earring was in fact in my ear. “But actually, I’m thinking of going on my lunch break, if that’s okay with you?” I quickly stood and headed to the back room.

“It’s eleven a.m.,” Cleo said.

“I’msohungry,” I said, passing her and not waiting for her approval. I thought I heard her mumbling “Sure,” but maybe I only wanted to hear that.

Once in the staff room, I relaxed. The problem with seeing Zain was that I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t spill everything within the first five seconds. And then what? Would this version of him hate me? Or worse, somehow, accept me for what I was and then we’d both die? Again? Because that was what happened in every lifetime—we fell in love and then we died for it.

The shop door jingled. “Hey, is Roxana in today?” Zain’s voice asked. Hearing him broke my heart a little, but I told myself this was for his sake. And that was what made me stay where I was, my back against the wall closest to the door. I prayed that Cleo would get what was going on and not call for me.

“She’s on her lunch break,” she said. “I can go get her, if you want?” Silently, I cursed her for not reading my mind.

“Um…” Zain said, voice thick with hesitation. “So she’s been at work and seems fine?”

“Well, yeah? Why?”

There was a short pause before he said, “Nothing. I haven’t heard from her, but if she’s good, then…forget about it.”

“Seriously, she just went for lunch right before you came in…” As she trailed off, I could somehow sense that she had finally caught on. “She might have left, though. I’ll go check,” she added limply before opening the back door slowly. When she shut it, we caught eyes, and she whispered, “What’s going on?”

I just shook my head.

She nodded wordlessly before telling Zain that I must have gone out for lunch. He left pretty soon after that, and I stayed in the staff room for the full thirty minutes of my break. I felt terrible. If Zain had ghosted me after we had first kissed, I would feel pretty shit. But I didn’t know what else to do.

For a distraction, I checked my emails, and I didn’t have to go far to see what my results were. The subject line of one of my new emails caught my eye:Welcome to Brighton University.I hadn’t gotten into Kings—and I was glad. I wanted to go to Brighton, even if it slightly stung that my grades weren’t good enough to go to Kings College in London. Nic would be disappointed, but it made it easier to use the excuse of not getting into Kings as the reason I wouldn’t be with her in the fall. Especially if there were other reasons for my not being in London.Like my death.No, I couldn’t think like that.

When I went back out onto the shop floor, Cleo made a face.

“What was that about?” She stood close to me, a new coffee cup in her hand, like she was preparing for me to spill some serious tea.

“I didn’t want to see anyone today.”

“Specifically Zain?”

“Things have gotten…complicated between us.” The words came out strangled, even though what I was saying was entirely truthful, just an understatement. I couldn’t help but ask, “How did he look?”

Cleo gave me a smug smile before moving over to the counter, where she put her coffee down and leaned both elbows against the surface like she was doing a cat stretch. She dragged the moment out, watching me sweat, before saying, “He looked like shit.”