Page 43 of Heavensent & Hellbent

I muttered something about toxic masculinity, which elicited an eyebrow raise from Sebastian and a chuckle from Zain.

“That’s whatI’malways saying,” Autumn agreed, grinning.

To my surprise, the other people at the gathering were all friendly and chill—and perhaps my first impression of Sebastian was wrong (not that he hadn’t given me reason to think he was an ass the first time I met him). When Zain had mentioned going to the lake with some of his friends from school, I’d imagined jocks and cheerleaders, Cleo’s words in my mind. But the group didn’t seem to fit any one stereotype—there were peoplewho definitely looked athletic, especially in swim clothes, and I had to force myself not to compare my body to theirs, but there were also people with tattoos, septum rings, and larger bodies, as well as conversations about philosophy, one of them promptly followed by a debate about whether a nepo baby model really was copying a Disney singer. And the latter was a conversation I would happily participate in…

Autumn and I went at it for probably half an hour. She was convinced the model was stalking the singer while I argued that their similarities could be coincidental. It got heated in a way that made us cackle-laugh when we realized (a)we didn’t know these people, (b)we actually didn’t care about celebrities, and (c)we were participating in the patriarchy by blaming the women and not their messy ex-boyfriend/current husband.

Now, while Zain and I sat away from the others, soaking up the sun, he asked, “Are you not going to go in?” Even with my eyes shut I knew his lips were quirked.

I opened one eye, squinting at him. “I didn’t bring anything to swim in. Or are you suggesting we go skinny-dipping?”

He laughed, shaking his head. “I don’t know what you take me for.”

“I’m happy here, anyway.” I leaned my head back, digging my feet into the earth as if for emphasis. “On land, where some demonic figure won’t drag me underwater.”

Zain’s shoulder brushed mine as he also lay back. “That isn’t a thing, but I’m here; they wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“You seem very confident in your abilities,” I said.

“I’ve been trained—why wouldn’t I be?”

I admired his self-confidence and let myself settle into the idea that he could protect us from any threat.

I squinted at him again. “Is this what you guys do for fun, then? Splash around in nearby lakes? It’s very wholesome. Not what I imagined from a jock angel.”

“Becausewe work hard, chilling is a necessity. And I feel calmer around water—there’s something about it that relaxes me. It’s always been that way, even when I was little. My aunt says my mom was the same, so I must get it from her.”

I smiled. “I like that. What else did your aunt tell you about your mum?”

“That she was kind and generous, to a fault sometimes. She took her role as an angel really seriously. I think that helps me with it—to know that if I dedicate myself to it, I’ll be closer to her.” The tops of his ears went pink. “Sorry, I’m rambling.”

I shook my head. “You’re not. I like hearing about her—she sounds great.”

“What about your mom?”

I looked over at the lake and the people in it. “She was everything,” I said. “My best friend more than my mum. We used to laugh together all the time. And she was so encouraging of all my hobbies, whereas my dad just wants me to be successful, even if it means I won’t be happy. He’s very practical, whereas she was a dreamer. I guess opposites do attract.”

“You should keep up with your art,” he said. “For her, for yourself. It’s important. Do you still want to study law?”

“I’m not sure. I feel like I don’t have control over my life,over what degree I’m doing or even my sleep. Like, can I even go to university in September if jinn won’t stop stalking me?”

Zain’s eyes were on mine. “When we get to the bottom of why the jinn are targeting you—and stop them—we’ll work on you having some control over your life.”

At this, my brow rose. His face was earnest. “We’llwork on it?”

“Yeah.” He smiled. “What do you want to study instead, if anything?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe art? My mum and I used to paint together on Sunday mornings. She was a great artist—I’m nothing like her—but when drawing I am at my happiest. Or maybe I shouldn’t even try and monetize my art. I’ve always been interested in psychology. I studied it in secondary school, so maybe that? The truth is I don’t know. Ideally, I’d like to take a year off to think about it.”

“So you need a gap year?”

“I guess,” I said. I knew the idea of pausing my life wouldn’t be encouraged by my dad, or even Nic. “You said you’d want to travel. Where would you want to go?”

Zain rested his head back on the sand, and with his gaze up at the sky, I could look at him properly without restraint. His eyelashes were impossibly long, his profile something I would like to draw.

“There’re lots of places. Tokyo, definitely. Europe, for sure. I’ve always wanted to go to Italy and try actual Italian food. But I’ve never actually been to Iran since leaving when I was six, so I would want to tour the country, starting with Shiraz,then going to Mashhad, Tehran, and the villages. I’d like to know the place I came from.”

“I don’t feel much connection to Iran,” I said for the first time. “My parents didn’t really teach me about it. I think they just wanted us to adopt the English ways, but sometimes I do think there’s something missing from me because of it.”