Page 64 of People Change

‘It’s all smelly,’ Mariam said. ‘I’m getting out of here. For your sanity, you need to as well. And I’m going to help you.’

Later that day, just before 5.30 p.m., Shirin got a Teams message from Mariam saying:

I got the job! Now it’s your turn x

So Mariam has less to lose than the rest of them. She has already handed in her notice.

‘What we need to do,’ Ross says tentatively, ‘is get a lot of people in on it, if we don’t want to risk our jobs.’

‘That shouldn’t be too hard,’ Shirin says. ‘If we all get, like, five people to join us, that’s enough, right?’

‘We can definitely get more than that,’ Naomi says, leaning back.

‘Yeah, easy,’ Mariam says, stretching her clasped hands out, like she is preparing for a fight.

‘Okay, I’m in,’ Kate says. ‘If we can’t fight fascists in our own workplace, where can we?’

Everyone looks at Derek, whose nostrils are flared in stress. ‘Okay, let’s do it,’ he finally spits out.

There is momentary jubilation, before silence comes. ‘So what do we actually have to do?’ Shirin asks.

‘I think I know,’ Derek says, surprising everyone with his new-found enthusiasm. Then their heads are bent low as they explore exactly how they will successfully orchestrate a company-wide walkout.

In the evening Shirin messages Kian:

My company are publishing Rob’s new book.

He FaceTimes her immediately. She is walking from the bus stop to her flat and raises the camera to her face, checking herself out in the camera image, smoothing her hair down, before accepting. In the call, she can see the various ex-councilhousing in Bow behind her as she makes her way to her own building.

Kian’s face takes up most of the shot, though it looks like he’s at a coffee shop. There is a low hum of chatter, and what she imagines is a coffee-machine steamer whirling. Though she might be imagining that detail.

‘Shirin,’ he says, his face lighting up. This is the first time they’ve spoken in weeks and, despite all that has happened, her heart still swells when she sees his face. He leans the phone against something, so that he can sit back in his chair. ‘How are you doing?’ he asks with a pinched expression.

‘I’m angry, but to be honest it’s the clearest I’ve seen things in a long time.’ She turns the corner and there is a group of kids at the bus stop taking up the pavement, so she skips into the road to go past them.

He shakes his head. ‘It’s so fucked up that they bought his book in secret, after everything that came out.’

‘We’re staging a walkout,’ she blurts.

His head moves closer to the screen. ‘Really?’ He breaks into a smile.

She nods manically. ‘We’re doing it in two days. Rob is going to come into the office to talk with the CEO at an event, and we’re secretly spreading the word to people we trust that when they begin to talk, we’ll all get up and leave. Mariam is making placards and talking to journalists about it. I’ve been speaking to people I know at other publishers to see if we can get their support. It’s all mad, but it’s nice to actually do something about all the shit that’s happening, rather than let it defeat me, you know?’

She is approaching her flat now and struggles to balance holding her phone while rummaging inside her bag for her keys. She puts the phone in her pocket. As usual there is a struggle to open the door and when she manages to open it, she bounds up the stairs into her room and firmly shuts the door. Her breath is caught from the short run and she pulls out her phone. ‘I’m back.’ In the phone she can see herself, her nose pink, her eyes excited.

‘I’m so proud of you,’ Kian says. He bites the inside of his cheek like he wants to say more, but doesn’t.

‘You know, I blocked out a lot from school – about how much I hated it, how I simply put up with things happening to me and didn’t stand up for myself. I blamed myself a lot for what happened to us, like if I was different or had said something to someone about it sooner then none of it would have happened.’

‘Shirin, what the fuck? No. You didn’t do anything to deserve any of that.’

Her stomach is uneasy. This is the closest they’ve got to talking about what actually happened, and she is holding her breath. ‘I’m just sorry. I always wanted to say that, and I’ve avoided it for so long, but I am.’

‘Sorry about what?’ he asks.

‘I’m sorry about so much. I’m sorry about the things I said to you. At the time I was so fixated on the idea that us being suspended could ruin my chances of leaving Hull that I panicked. I wasn’t kind to you – especially knowing now that you blamed yourself for your brother going to prison. I’m sorry I got you involved with Rob and the others in the first place. I’m sorry you were suspended—’

‘How was that your fault?’ Kian interrupts. He is holding the phone closer to his face now and he looks mad. She opens her mouth to speak, but he continues anyway. ‘It’s not your fault, Shirin. Don’t apologise.’