Page 36 of People Change

‘Agreed,’ Carmen said. ‘So you’resureyou don’t like him?’

Shirin felt her heart quickening. Did she? She didn’t really know. It wasn’t like he’d shown any interest in her, not in that way anyway. She’d only ever regarded him as a friend, though with these prompts, she began to wonder. ‘I don’t think of him like that,’ she finally said.

Carmen curled her feet under her, and then ran her fingers through her blonde hair. Shirin thought it was quite a gross thing to do since her fingers were greasy from the pizza, but because Carmen had this air about her, it looked more nonchalant than anything else. ‘Right, I’m glad, because Ireallyfancy him.’

‘Fancy who?’

‘Kian,’ Carmen said. She was smiling without her teeth, a sort of shy but smug smile.

Phoebe turned to her, her attention fully on the conversation now, eyes widening.

‘Youdo?’ she said. ‘Have you spoken to him?’

Carmen explained how she sat next to Kian in Maths and how they often messed about. She said she hadn’t initially thought he was fit, but he’d taken his jumper off and his polo top had been stuck to it, so she’d seen his chest. She’d realised, then and there, that he was actually very fit.

Phoebe was lapping all this up, saying Carmen needed to go out with him, that they’d be such a cute couple, and Shirin had a stilted smile on her face.

She considered telling them about Rob, to have something to say to make her feelings less embarrassing. She knew, though, that he wouldn’t want her to tell people, that if it got back to him, he might be angry with her. When Carmenasked if Shirin could put in a good word for her with Kian, she said, ‘Of course.’

She was not sure how to actually broach this with Kian in a casual way, as Carmen had stressed to her it had to be. ‘Make sure it flows with the conversation,’ she had briefed. ‘Don’t make it sound like I’m in love with him or anything.’

The temperature had definitely dropped, so instead of sitting in the fields they went to a greasy spoon two blocks away from their school, which didn’t care that they were there in their school uniform in the middle of the day. Shirin had an excuse on the edge of her tongue, that it was lunchtime, even though it was 1 p.m. and lunch finished at 12.55 p.m. No one asked though.

They both got hot chocolates and sat in a corner booth.

Shirin leant her elbows on the table and examined Kian in a way she hadn’t before. He was good-looking. His features, she thought, were quite beautiful when you looked at him properly. His eyes were big, his lashes long and dark. His lips plump and pink. It was a sad realisation. At the very same time she imagined his lips on hers, and she was so embarrassed at herself that she took her elbows away from the table and sat back.

‘What do you think—’ she began at the same time as he said, ‘Did you see—’

They both stopped, laughed, and indicated for the other to go first. ‘No, you go,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t going to say anything important.’

‘Mine isn’t anything big either really. Just wanted to know what you thought of Carmen.’

‘Carmen Thompson?’

‘Yeah … She might like you, basically.’

His brows furrowed together, and he didn’t speak for a minute. ‘Right.’

She hadn’t expected this reaction, like he was annoyed at her. Everyone fancied Carmen, so his response was especially strange. ‘I mean,’ she began, not knowing where she was going with this, ‘it doesn’t matter if you’re not interested – I know you’ve got a lot on. I just wanted to float it out there.’

‘But you think I should talk to her?’

She picked up the teaspoon on the table next to her drink and lifted the skin out of the hot chocolate and onto a piece of tissue. She began to stir the drink like she was thinking about his question, when really she was thinking: No, I don’t think you should; but she couldn’t justify saying that. Carmen was her friend, even if Shirin didn’t like her that much.

‘I think you’d be cute together,’ she said, echoing Phoebe. The words sounded awkward and not convincing coming out of her mouth.

‘Interesting,’ he said. He leant back. He still hadn’t touched his drink.

She felt him slipping away from her, like she had done something wrong, though she wasn’t entirely sure what. So she blurted, ‘Rob randomly messaged me on MSN the other day, you know.’

That got his attention. Kian cocked his head to the side. ‘Seriously? What did he say?’

‘Just asked about homework and was weirdly nice.’

Kian made a ticking sound, like he was frustrated. ‘He’s a dick, you shouldn’t talk to him.’

‘I dunno …’