Page 92 of The Mismatch

The nurse put his hand on Ali’s shoulder. ‘OK, mate, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Immediate family only.’

‘I’m her brother!’

‘She needs her rest, love,’ the other nurse said.

Hossein smirked, let out a small laugh.

‘You laugh at me?’ Ali said, trying to step around the nurse.

‘Ali, please,’ Neda said, quietly. He glanced at her then, a look of mingled hurt and understanding on his face.

‘Fine, I will call you later.’

He was escorted out.

The atmosphere inside the room was tense, with the remaining nurse and midwife talking between themselves, and Hossein trying to catch Neda’s eye.

‘Are you OK?’ the midwife asked her.

‘Yes, thank you. I’d like to be alone, if possible, to get some rest.’ She gazed into the midwife’s blue eyes, hoping she’d understand.

‘Of course.’ She turned to Hossein. ‘Dad, Mum needs her rest, so unfortunately visiting time is over.’

‘Oh,’ Hossein said. ‘I barely got to see them—’

‘I know, I’m sorry, but with it being a double birth, Mum is very tired.’

Hossein grumbled something in response and began to move towards Laleh. Neda’s heart broke for her daughter. She wished she could have covered her child’s eyes, stopped her from seeing what a mess her family was.

‘Laleh can stay,’ Neda said quickly. ‘I want her here with me.’

Hossein surprised her by nodding before leaving the room, head bowed. She got the distinct impression this was all for show, for the nurse and midwife, so he didn’t seem like the guilty party but Ali did. She knew Hossein well enough to understand he was an excellent actor when he wanted to be.

When her dad had left, Laleh went to her mum. Neda helped her up onto the bed and cuddled her.

‘Are you sure you’re OK?’ the nurse asked. The midwife stood next to her with a look of concern etched across her face.

‘Yes, thank you. They’re not normally like that,’ Neda lied.

The nurse pursed her thin lips, looking at her for a moment before saying slowly, ‘There are services, you know, that can help women in your position.’

Neda could feel her own expression harden. ‘I’m not in any kind of position.’

The nurse nodded and both women left in silence.

‘I’m scared,’ Laleh said, distracting Neda from her worries, her problems. She had a child – and now children – she needed to put before herself.

‘It’s OK,’ she whispered into Laleh’s hair. ‘It’s OK. It’s OK.’ She repeated the words over and over, trying to convince herself, until they both fell asleep.

In Neda’s dreams she was a little girl again, in her family’s back garden in just her underwear, joyful as she played tag with her siblings. She heaved with laughter, from deep within her belly. Worry wasn’t a word in her vocabulary; she hadn’t yet experienced it.

She dreamt of a country long gone, and a time long past.

And she willed herself never to wake up.

CHAPTER 42

Soraya