Page 55 of The Mismatch

‘No,’ Soraya said, forcing a puzzled expression onto her face that felt beyond farcical.

‘Are you sure?’

Soraya broke eye contact, turning to Parvin whilst also reaching for a sandwich. ‘Mum, you’re being so dramatic. Obviously not.’

‘What’s going on with Amir’s girlfriend anyway?’ Parvin asked, saving Soraya from the conversation from hell.

‘Oh, he says he likes her and that she’s a nice girl. Don’t ask him about her, though, he gets embarrassed.’

‘Why is he allowed a girlfriend?’ Soraya said, before mentally scolding herself for her outburst. ‘I swear he’s cheating on her anyway.’

Her mum sighed. ‘It’s different for boys.’

‘You don’t really believe that, do you?’

‘Boys can’t get pregnant. If one of you got pregnant before marriage …’ She shook her head, her words sharp, a contrast from before. ‘It would ruin your life. That’s how it’s different.’

Soraya said nothing. The silence felt heavy.

She had long since given up arguing with her family about the hypocrisy in their logic. If Amir got a girl pregnant, whatwould happen then? Why was it any different for him? She knew if such a thing happened her family would accept the situation, and the realisation infuriated her. Laleh had left the family to be with her boyfriend, and yet her brother was allowed to bring girls to the house. Such thoughts often left her red-faced and teary-eyed if she attempted to challenge them about it. So she’d learnt to let it go.

Parvin moved the conversation along by asking more questions about the girl. Soraya eventually joined in. Better indulge in the injustice than have the injustice turned back on her.

In the evening, back at the house, Parvin ran over to her in the living room and whispered, ‘Can you hear that?’

They were both quiet for a few seconds, but it was long enough to hear quiet moaning. At first Soraya thought it was coming from her dad’s laptop, but he was usually so careful and wore headphones. Besides, he was upstairs.

Parvin’s eyes widened. ‘Ewwww.’

Soraya wanted to block her ears. The moaning became louder.

Her mum came into the living room from the kitchen, blissfully unaware. Both girls looked at her, grimaces on their faces.

‘What?’ she asked.

Then she heard it.

‘Amir? Astaghfirullah.’

She grabbed the TV remote and turned the volume up as high as was needed to drown out the sounds.

The showiness of her brother, having exceptionally loud sex in the same house his sisters and mother occupied. Sorayacouldn’t even imagine doing that – she’d be disowned, like Laleh. Or worse. Much worse.

A potent feeling bubbled up within her. She felt shame on hearing them, finding the act of sex disgusting. This wasn’t the first time she’d regarded it this way, and she wondered how her family had managed to imprint their views on her so deeply that the most natural human act could repulse her. Perhaps it was years of being told sex was wrong and dirty by people like her brother who freely engaged in the activity themselves.

It was different when she was with Magnus. He was the first person to somehow break through this wall and make her see things in a different way. It stung that now she still had no idea what had happened to make him stand her up and then ghost her. None of it made any sense.

‘This house is mad!’ Parvin exclaimed.

Soraya continued grimacing until her phone pinged with a message.

It was from Magnus.

CHAPTER 26

Soraya

London, 2014